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Am so angry with our friends! Is this unreasonable?

(9 Posts)
HelloMama Sun 03-Apr-05 21:58:25

We went to a wonderful wedding this weekend and as it was quite a long way from home, we decided to pop in and stay with my parents on the way home to back the journey up. All of our friends got absolutely s*faced at the wedding, drinking until very late into the night. Because of DS we had to leave the party early and didn't really want to get too drunk as we knew we would end up getting up a few times in the night, then up at 6am next morning! Anyway, we didn't mind too much because as we were staying with my parents the next night, we knew we would have babysitters so we could go out and have a great night, knowing DS would be well looked after. Our good friends (a couple) also wanted to stay at my parents and said all along they would also be up for another big night out. Of course, when we get to my parents, they both feel awful, hung-over and not in the mood for a night out. We buy them a take-out dinner and my parents fuss round them all evening. They then stall us going for our night out until the last possible moment (because they don't want to go), they don't make any effort getting ready (i.e. not having a shower, changing their clothes, etc) then sit in the pub not drinking, looking tired and pissed off. We end up going home at 11pm, missing all of our old friends who went directly to the night club we were supposed to be going to later. This was to be our first proper night out since xmas. The next morning, the couple get up early and expect us to leave my parents house in a hurry so they can get back home bed, making us feel guilty for wanting to hang around. I'm sorry this is so long. I am so furious! Do we leave the matter or should I say something? I kind-of want an apology, but is this unreasonable?

starshaker Sun 03-Apr-05 22:02:21

no its not they were so selfish could they not have said that they didnt want to go out earlier then they could have went home and u could have went out and had a nice time with the friends that u were meeting in the club i dont think its unreasonable that u want an apology

paolosgirl Sun 03-Apr-05 22:03:58

I kind of think it might be better to leave it. Sounds like the kind of thing that a couple without kids would do, not out of malice but just thoughtlessness. For them, one night out is just another night out, but for you it was really special, what with having your parents to look after DS. I think sometimes when babies come along it can mean that some friendships drift a bit, beacuse your lifestyles are different. Don't know if that's helped or made things worse?

mancmum Sun 03-Apr-05 22:04:22

personally think this is totally unacceptable -- would have a strong word with them - apology is minumum I would expect for ruining your precious time....

WideWebWitch Sun 03-Apr-05 22:06:05

Agree with paolosgirl, it's just one of those things, I wouldn't say anything, they just don't get it because they can go out whenever they want and they didn't do it to piss you off, they just didn't think.

lucy5 Sun 03-Apr-05 22:09:10

They wont understand what they have done and if you do say anything they will think you are just a sad mum who doesnt get out enough. This has happened to me on more than one occassion and I actually cooled the friendship with the said couple because it kept happening and I just wanted to punch them or let dd jump on their sleeping hungover heads.

HelloMama Sun 03-Apr-05 22:09:53

I totally agree about that this was just another night to them and perhaps they didn't realise it was so special to us. The reason I'm so angry is that we did keep saying 'you can just go on home if you don't feel like going out' and 'you're welcome to have an early night while we go out' but they did come anyway, grudgingly, and thats what ruined it. I'm angry because I know we won't to get to go out again for such a long time and also I feel bad that we didn't spend any real time with my parents today, even though we haven't seen them for months. I wish I had just put my foot down at the time and asked the friends not to stay if they didn't want to come out with us. This is such a silly thing, but I'm so upset.

paolosgirl Sun 03-Apr-05 22:13:00

I can totally understand how you're feeling - something similar happened to us a few years back. We didn't say anything, but the friendship was never the same afterwards - which turned out not to be a bad thing. Hope you feel better soon [hug emoticon]

nightowl Sun 03-Apr-05 23:17:40

its annoying isnt it? i have a childless friend who will arrange to go out with me, i'll be looking forward to it as i dont go out much and then she'll get slaughtered on the dinnertime and fall asleep. leaving me all dolled up and ringing her phone to no avail. its nothing to her, she can go out whenever she wants to but it really upsets me. ive told her time and time again to tell me if she doesnt want to go but she never does...likes to leave me guessing.

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