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Sex-free marriage- is it OK or is it over?

(8 Posts)
breadline Thu 31-Mar-05 10:19:07

Just had a drink with a good friend last night and she confided in me that her and dh had stopped sleeping together/ had,nt had sex for nearly two years. She was really not interested in sex any more( used to be a bit of a goer, so i was quite shocked)i was really struggling to know what to say to her, as i have always thought that the sex bit was important. She said that she could'nt make herself and literally never felt like it.From the ouside they are very close and both lovely caring people. Don't know what her husband makes of it , as i was too surprised to ask. Sort of think that maybe a celibate marriage is a bit strange.What do you think?

mummytosteven Thu 31-Mar-05 10:23:52

depends whether they are both happy with it really, and how important sex is to her h. also depends on why she doesn't want sex - whether it's tiredness/depression/kids/medication side effects or whether she simply doesn't doesn't fancy her husband any more.

golds Thu 31-Mar-05 10:24:12

I don't think it is of major importance, in my marraige anyway. If they both feel this way, then there's no problem, its when one feels different to the other.

I would quite happily live without

miranda2 Thu 31-Mar-05 10:25:41

I think this is actually quite common, just no one ever talks aobut it. So long as they are both happy it is fine - there is much more to a marriage than sex. Friendship is the most important thing imo.

QueenEagle Thu 31-Mar-05 10:26:08

Personally the sex part of my marriage is a major part of it and without it I would feel like I wasn't so close to my dh. There are times when we are too tired but still manage to cuddle, kiss, stroke and turn each other on without the actual sex. Even if we are too tired for that we tell each other what we would do to each other if we had the energy! We are very tactile with each other and not an hour goes by during the day when we don't give each other a kiss, a smack on the bum or just a knowing look at each other.

I cherish this part of our marriage and work hard at maintaining it. This is my 2nd marriage and my ex wasn't interested probably because he was off having affairs all the time. We rarely had sex or any sexual talk/contact and tbh it felt like I was living with my brother.

breadline Thu 31-Mar-05 10:31:36

They have been through a great deal in the last year: several family bereavements, finding out they are unable to concieve, trying to adopt etc etc. they are really close though and spend most of their time together. maybe the life stress has made them closer in a different way. Dunno tho, just seems a bit bleak living as friends.

anonymouschap Fri 01-Apr-05 23:18:00

I like to think i'm something of an expert on this.

The loving relationship is over, the fun stuff, the marriage isn't, nessecarily.

kama Fri 01-Apr-05 23:23:26

Message withdrawn

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