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how often do you have sex? when and who initiates it?do you use sex toys?

(33 Posts)
foxy1 Tue 06-Jan-09 17:43:43

thank you!

Fizzfiend Tue 06-Jan-09 18:13:09

Never, unless I complain, so about twice a year. DH far too uptight to contemplate sex toys. Hence I'm having an affair! Sorry, just feeling pissed off with the whole situation.

kormaisforlifenotjustchristmas Tue 06-Jan-09 18:16:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BONKERZ Tue 06-Jan-09 18:16:34

how often do you have sex?
about once or twice a month on average!

when and who initiates it?
I nag constantly for sex, Dh has a very low sex drive He actually holds all the cards when it comes to sex. (quite a big problem in our relationship!)

do you use sex toys? YES i have a drawer full! I use them alone and sometimes we sue them together!!!!

ChasingSquirrels Tue 06-Jan-09 18:19:25

well, I haven't since he left, but pre that
- varied between every 2/3 days and every couple of weeks, although we had a phase years ago when it was a handful of times a year.
- him usually, me occasionally
- no sex toys

SheWillBeLoved Tue 06-Jan-09 18:19:31

Used to be once maybe twice a week if lucky. Relationship has gotten alot better lately though, alot of stresses gone, and now it's around 3 maybe 4 times a week blush

Used to always be me initiating it, DP has never had the highest of sex drives. Lately though, that's done a 360 but I daren't complain shock

Sex toys - we have a couple, no big shockers. Rarely use them, last time was on Boxing day - MIL got us one for christmas as a joke present so we gave it a road test grinblush

lilacclaire Tue 06-Jan-09 18:20:25

I got fed up initiating and getting knocked back, now leave it up to dp.

Sex toys? hahaha, tried to introduce that ages ago and it was not welcomed (by him), so they are used only solo (quite often) !

Fizzfiend, im hearing you !!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Tue 06-Jan-09 18:23:36

MIL bought you a sex toy ?? [fshock]

How often? Depends on (my) time of the month. Middle 2 wks of cycle, every 1-2 days. 50/50 mix of initiator.

1st/last wk of my cycle-not at all cos I go riiight off it.

DH understands this and happily waits until I am "on heat" again [fwink].

Toys?-oh yes indeedy, most times.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Tue 06-Jan-09 18:25:14

what happened to my smileys ????????

SheWillBeLoved Tue 06-Jan-09 18:31:32

AnyFuckerForAMincePie - grin she did, wish it was some horrible nightmare but no, I really did unwrap a pink veiny knob in a box grin

leoleosuperstar Tue 06-Jan-09 18:32:24

About once a week normally although recently last couple of months this has dropped to 1/2 a month.
Dp initiates it mostly unless I get the sense that he is getting annoyed then I will. Dp would like to have sex about 3 times a week - I would have sex more often but he has recently been treating me like a piece of crap.
We have toys dp loves them but this actually feeds into his insecurities so I try to avoid using them.

Why - is there a reason for asking? smile

scorpio1 Tue 06-Jan-09 18:33:13

How often - about 8 times a week

Who - both of us....i'd say once or twice him more

Sex toys - yes, and underwear/stuff...

moondog Tue 06-Jan-09 18:37:20

Who the hell answers such questions so readily to complete stranger? hmm

honestfriend Tue 06-Jan-09 18:38:28

never- gone off DH.

scorpio1 Tue 06-Jan-09 18:38:29

it's because it's a stranger! for me anyhow. Would never share in RL

ChasingSquirrels Tue 06-Jan-09 18:39:08

in RL, no one probably, from one complete stranger to another - the people who have posted one here.
Who cares?

Fizzfiend Tue 06-Jan-09 18:40:12

Lilacclaire I read your message and just felt an immediate affinity with you. Who are all these bloody men that don't want sex anymore? It's supposed to be women that go off sex, but it sounds like there are loads of MN mums who have dud partners. Sex is not the be all and end all, but if you're not having it, your relationship will die. So that's that IMO.

I spent way too many years alone with my sex toys and fantasies about the builder blush that I decided to do something about it (not with the builder!) Best thing I ever did, although it's thrown my sad, sexless marriage into light relief and I'm now less happy to put up with it than before. Who knows what the future will bring? What are your plans?

twopeople Tue 06-Jan-09 18:42:06

Message withdrawn

LucyEllensmummy Tue 06-Jan-09 18:47:33

used to be every day, but since dd and pnd and now on ADs ive gone off it, and that is a big deal for me really. One reason why i am coming off ADs now So, now 2/3 times a week but can go up to a week - im just knackered and so is he. DD in her own room now so who knows............Sex toys? Oh yes, we bought the rampant rabbit wave at the weekend - £50 and worth every penny.

Even im shocked at the mother in law bying the vibe!!! It doesn't conjure the healthiest of images

SheWillBeLoved Tue 06-Jan-09 18:56:38

LucyEllensMummy - grin she's not your typical MIL at all it seems! Just bloody grateful that it wasn't from my own mum shock then i'd have actually died instead of just wanting to!

duke748 Tue 06-Jan-09 19:00:23

I am having lots of fun having sex between 2 and 4 times a day when we are together (we don't live together).

We see each other most weekends, so its about 8 times a week I guess.

We have only been seeing each other for about a year though, but I hope it continues like this!

Its great for me because I know when we are meeting up and so can make sure my legs are shaved and I look my lovely best. Also I don't have to moan at him about housework or anything like that - so always feeling super horny!

And yes, toys when I'm home alone, but also occasionally together.

He probably initiates it 70% of the time, but loves it when I do!

I love it!

ThePellyandMe Tue 06-Jan-09 19:01:07

DH has a very low sex drivesad

Sort of rubs of on you after a while IYSWIM and I get fed up with initiating it so don't bother too often.

Sex toys? DH not interested. Tried and failed.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Tue 06-Jan-09 19:03:25

Message withdrawn

cheerfulvicky Tue 06-Jan-09 19:14:32

At the moment, not at all.
Usually me who initiates (99%) of the time. I've got fed up and stopped bothering, hence no sex
I have a few toys, bought recently out of sheer frustration. I'd love to 'share' them with him but he's not bothered really...

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Tue 06-Jan-09 19:25:19

I feel bad for you ladies with reluctant partners.

My DH is horny as hell, have to beat him off with a shitty stick sometimes smile. We have been together 20 yrs plus btw. Have to admit we had a "fallow" period when the dc's were younger, but I think that is natural.

I find it really difficult to understand a man "not interested" in his wife using a sex toy, or him using one on her.

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