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husband says, "that's your job, your the housewife."

(21 Posts)
haven Tue 29-Mar-05 03:23:16

sahm,
do your dh seem to think that because they work they have absolutely NO resposiblity at home? NONE!! NOTTA!!!

..................................NOT EVEN THE YARD!!! he says he'll do when when ready, he doesn't care if it gets high as the house!!!

WHAT TO DO!!!!!!

bobbybob Tue 29-Mar-05 03:28:01

Threaten to pay a man with a six pack and a nice tan to do it with his shirt off. You are a housewife not a slave.

haven Tue 29-Mar-05 03:33:05

he wouldn't give a flying rats butt.....he tries to make me feel inferior..to him...

i go out sometimes with friends he doesn't care a bit.....he's the kind of man that thinks he is just such a wonderful husbanD THAT i wouldn't think of leaving or doing something wrong....

ghosty Tue 29-Mar-05 03:42:03

haven, your husband is being terribly unfair.
The way we work it out is that DH works out of the home, I work in the home and then when he comes home at the end of the day we split it 50/50 ... he cooks, I wash up ... I give the kids their dinner, he baths them and puts them to bed ...
As a SAHM I tend to do most of the house stuff (washing, shopping, cleaning etc) but at weekends he does his fair share ...
I hope you manage to sort this out with your husband as I know I couldn't handle that kind of attitude
Love
Ghosty xx

haven Tue 29-Mar-05 03:49:59

he'll do the dishes sometimes but it's like a privelege you know....he'll bath the baby, but only after an argument and he'll pulling all the stops......if he wants to go fishing,, and wants my blessing or something like that..

his parents work that way......his father doesn't do ANYTHING......his mom does everthing..............

but...i'm not mom!!

ghosty Tue 29-Mar-05 03:54:00

LOL at you saying you are not mom ...
My mum and dad are old fashioned ... my dad never did anything around the house (except tinker in the garage and do a bit of gardening) ...
As a result my parents think my husband is a legend in his own lifetime ... my mum worships the ground he walks on because he can change a nappy and choose clothes for DD to wear!! When I suffered from Post Natal Depression and DH had to do everything my mother just used to shake her head at me when I cried and say "Poor Mr. Ghosty!"
(Obviously my DH's name isn't Mr Ghosty in real life )

jabberwocky Tue 29-Mar-05 04:42:29

Hmm, it would be nice if something were to come up where you just had to go out of town without the kids for a few days (or even better, a week!) and he had to take over.

haven Tue 29-Mar-05 05:14:53

guilty consious!!!

thought about it already!!LOL

AussieSim Tue 29-Mar-05 07:05:30

My DH is very well trained. His Dad always helped in the kitchen and was very involved in looking after DH and his sister - it has set a fantastic role model for DH who is a bit of a gem in this department.

My DH took a Carer's Leave day today so that he could get DS out of my hair while I am laid up in bed with a cold. DH and DS were out the door before I woke up, came home at lunch with Chicken Soup and after DS woke from his afternoon nap he has taken him out again. I must say I am feeling rather blessed today in particular.

We get a cleaner once a fortnight and I must admit that DH does not have a handy bone in his body, which for the most part is not particularly inconvenient.

Sounds like your DH needs to turn over a new leaf. Do you have any friends with well-behaved husbands that you could hang out with more?

WideWebWitch Tue 29-Mar-05 07:54:03

No, my dp doesn't think this and neither do I. We consider being a sahp has responsibility for looking after the children. Which ever of us is at home with children (and we've alternated it) isn't responsible for anything else although realistically does end up doing some shopping and cooking but the other one doesn't expect it. If your dh hired a nanny they would only do childcare and maybe a tiny bit of child related housework. A nanny wouldn't shop, cook, clean: you'd have to employ a separate housekeeper/cleaner for that. I think you should leave him to it for a couple of days too since he doesn't seem to realise how much work is involved. Err, you're WORKING Too!

expatinscotland Tue 29-Mar-05 08:02:03

I had a boyfriend like that. Once. I left him for someone else.

berolina Tue 29-Mar-05 18:58:24

haven, what a c**p attitude (of your dh)!

I work FT (periodically at home, I'm a lecturer) and dh is at home doing his doctorate. He does do most of the housework because I do have a huge workload, but I would never DREAM of declaring it his responsibility! I'm bl**dy grateful!

LGJ Tue 29-Mar-05 19:00:34

husband says, "that's your job, your the housewife."

It would be the last lucid thought he had before he came round in intensive care

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Tue 29-Mar-05 19:32:55

LGJ PMSL. That's exactly what I thought!

piffle Tue 29-Mar-05 19:57:52

max out every account shopping and every credit card (even if you just hide it somewhere)
You pay it, you're the breadwinner
shut up mine nicely once a while ago

LeahE Tue 29-Mar-05 20:18:00

My first thought was the same as piffle's...

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Tue 29-Mar-05 20:23:19

love piffles reply. Will keep it should it ever be necessary

MrsMiggins Tue 29-Mar-05 20:40:41

Haven - I sympathise - sounds like my DH. He too has DM (dear Mother) who did/does everything while everyone else just sits & gives orders. DH gets home after kids in bed every night and expects tea on table and shirts ironed. I have just gone back to work part time and am finding it v v hard to work & look after 2 kids. On a sad note I'm wondering whether its all worth it. I act like single parent during the week so is the weekend with me nagging him to help with kids worth it. Sometimes I think the only thing stopping me is I cant bear the thought of spending weekends without the kids if we split up.

Tortington Wed 30-Mar-05 01:03:38

don't do anything of his. dont do his washing or his dinner or his plates or his ironing. don't clear the toys away. do not empty the bins in the kitchen, do not put the bins out on bin day. dont make him a cup of coffee,dont even wash him a cup. dont buy anything he likes to eat, dont buyhim something to nibble on thts in the fridge ready to hand.

and when he gets a cob on tell him you cant be arsed - you liked his attitude so much to do with the yard and home responsabilities - you thought you would try it.

colditzmum Wed 30-Mar-05 01:07:35

Yay, custardo, I did that to my dp!

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Wed 30-Mar-05 01:10:20

I did that after we had been married 6 months and he suddenly stopped doing anything at home. Went on strike for 2 weeks. Have only had to do it twice since and we've been married almost 15 years.

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