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please help..mother in law!!

(11 Posts)
nammythom Mon 28-Mar-05 06:05:51

Message withdrawn

suzywong Mon 28-Mar-05 06:24:55

take her to one side, tell her that whether or not you are in her house or not, if you catch her bullying and smacking your children again you will report her to social services.

Everything esle you will just have to put up with I'm afraid but the nasty old bag must be made to see that she can't treat the kids that way.

Have you contacted your local council about going on the list for a place of you own?

tiffini Mon 28-Mar-05 08:27:49

how dare anyone smack your children how tatally disrespectful not to mention very wrong.

if someone else smacked my children i dont think i would be responsible for my actions.

It must be so hard for you, but i agree with suzywong about looking into a council property,

nammythom Mon 28-Mar-05 09:11:23

Message withdrawn

alux Mon 28-Mar-05 09:22:58

I hope this doesn't sound equally inconcievable but I do empathise.

Sounds to me like I would consider something I would not ordinarily do. Like agree with my husband to separate to move further up the council list and / or declare myself homeless. I am wondering if living in one room in a shelter with the twins is more dignified than what you and the twins are being put through now. Living with the inlaws makes both options seem hard to organise but I would find ways of doing it!

tiffini Mon 28-Mar-05 14:02:06

long shot- but could you ask your MIL to write to the council saying she no longer wants you living there, you will then be made priority, or visit your GP, if you can convince him you are depressed this should also make you a priority.

colditzmum Mon 28-Mar-05 14:20:11

Go to the council and tell them that the person who owns the house you are living in is abusing your children. It's true!

sparklymieow Mon 28-Mar-05 14:22:54

whereabout do you live?? I ask because my SIL has just been offered a house on the Freshstart scheme and its up near Manchester, and I wonder if they could help you if you were willing to move up that way.

Caligula Mon 28-Mar-05 14:28:27

I would also see about making myself homeless so that you're a priority.

And the abuse thing is also a good one. If you threaten her with SS, she may well evict you anyway. But the problem is, you need it in writing.

Tortington Tue 29-Mar-05 02:55:10

make an appointment and go see someone at social services. explain your case is delicat as you live with your MIL. explain that your waiting for a house. explain that unless someone helps you you are going to split up as a family becuase you cant take anymore. explain that she is smacking the children and tell them the children are nervous and scared around her and she is crippling their emotional development.

see what they say.

alternativly go see your housing department and tell them your situation, tell them you are going to split from your husband and you need to know what the options are. they may offer you somewhere in a hostel or a B&B. now every council should have guidelines as to how fast they want a turn around of people in these situations - for instance in Worthing - the last time i checked it was 6 weeks. a month and a half - to get you a new house hunny - go check it out and see what they say. get the shelter helpline number off the internet - ask them for advise and ask if anyone could advocate on your behalf. finally - i always say this but - the aqueeky wheel gets the oil - if you phone them 3 times a week - write a letter every week which they must respond to. get your MP on your side. go to the newspapers - and threaten to - then someone int he housing department will say - give her something to shut her the hell up -ive seen it happen its true.

Tortington Tue 29-Mar-05 03:02:01

also, go to the doctors tellt hem your situation tell them your depressed - ask them to write a supporting leter for youtr housing application - get the prescription and bin it ifyou dont want the tabs.

the council aslo do a a sceme where you can move from within your borough to somewhere else int he country - ask about that - there are other places iwth shorter lists.

are the twins same sex? how many bedrooms have you got? are you considered to be overcrowded? - the papers love stuff like this poor mother of twins (how doubly fortunate for the front page) cannot get a home.

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