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Met a GREAT new man, need some advice badly though please......

(8 Posts)
QueenofVenus Sat 27-Dec-08 14:49:37

We have been seeing each other for a few weeks now, but we havent had sex yet, i know he wants to, but he's not pressuring me. But i feel very embarrassed (for want of a better word), i had a bad sexual relationship with my ex, and have never enjoyed sex at all, now i have this truly lovely new man, i so badly want to experience good sex and make it work with him, has anyone ANY advice for me? anything to stop me feeling so self-conscious and nervous? Id greatly appreciate it TIA xxx

Parumpapumfumf Sat 27-Dec-08 14:53:51

TALK to your new man about your past experiences so he understands.
Yo will have so much fun exploring what makes you tick sexually (and him) and the build up to 'full'' sex can take as long as you need.

Notquitegrownup Sat 27-Dec-08 15:00:15

Paradise News by David Lodge is a very funny and readable novel, which describes what Parumpapumfumf is describing beautifully. You can read it and lend it to your new man too, if it helps.

aseriouslyblondemoment Sat 27-Dec-08 15:21:18

If he is truly lovely then he'll be patient with you and things will just progress naturally and sex will be good and fulfilling.

kylieone Sat 27-Dec-08 15:25:45

I have a new man we have been together 17 months and are getting married next year, he is absolutely wonderful, our sex life is amazing I was with my ex husband for 32 years since I was 15 and we split up about 3 years ago I could never talk to my ex about sex and it was awful but now I have everything I've dreamed about, I wish you all the luck in the world and don't worry about the sex thing when the time is right it will happen and be wonderful xx

QueenofVenus Sat 27-Dec-08 18:02:44

Thankyou very very much for the help all of you! I will look for that book NQGU - thanks smile and congratulations kylieone - im very very pleased for you, thankyou for sharing that, it really does make me feel alot better about things - im keeping my fingers crossed for both of us smile xxx

kylieone Sat 27-Dec-08 18:16:58

Let us know how you get on, good luck xxx

solidgoldstuffingballs Sat 27-Dec-08 18:20:08

Any halfway nice and decent man will understand if you say that you are nervous and feel shy about sex due to past bad experiences, and will be prepared to take it at your pace. Don't be afraid to ask him to stop, slow down, whatever, if you are not comfortable with what's going on. And do have a read of a few norty books (I always recommend fiction anthologies as a lot of the manuals can be either condescending or too clinical) to see what ideas actually appeal...

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