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can an independent woman stay married?

(44 Posts)
justamom Thu 24-Mar-05 15:08:33

an indepedent woman....keeping that in mind to being a maid...a errand runner...and cooking and all of the other stuff among playing like you don't know anything so that dh can feel more like a man...

Enid Thu 24-Mar-05 15:09:47

err, yes, I think so, depends what you mean by independent

Cod Thu 24-Mar-05 15:10:40

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RudyDudy Thu 24-Mar-05 15:11:51

Yes. I suppose it depends on the marriage but ime if it's a partnership it doesn't have to be about either of you giving up your independence in a negative way. I have never pretended I don't know anything to make DH feel more like a man and would think him less of a man if he wanted / expected me to and I know he would be offended / patronised if he thought I ever did that.

Enid Thu 24-Mar-05 15:11:59

if you feel like a maid and an errand runner I suspect you are not enjoying being married very much. Personally I love doing things for my dh (most of the time) as he also does loads of stuff for me, its a two way street (or should be IMO)

Cod Thu 24-Mar-05 15:12:25

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Enid Thu 24-Mar-05 15:13:12

cod, I know you are like that woman from wife swap who was a geisha to her husband arent you

Cod Thu 24-Mar-05 15:14:21

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Enid Thu 24-Mar-05 15:14:56


I trim ear hair

Kayleigh Thu 24-Mar-05 15:16:06

Mmmmm that conjours up a lovely picture Cod

justamom Thu 24-Mar-05 15:24:06

i do like be wife and mother...but o.k. for instance....
i have a degree in computer networking...and my husband decided to get into it after i started school...well he whole time i was in he would find questions i didn't know the answer to..uummm..after i graduated it was even worse..he started doing home pcs and when i would try to give advice he would go off...or again ask questions that didn't have anything to do with the task at hand.....i have since given up the computer thing since it seems to be such a competition with him...i am a considerably strong female for my size...but i have to pretend like i can't do things...or he'll say stuff like...gonna break your back...or you gotta do everything yourself..... anyway when i do go back to school going for nursing...he doesn't like needles or blood so maybe i can do my own thing...

he makes the money!!! that's his excuse for everything...i was in the Lnational guard and was a sgt.....but to him i didn't know anything....was cleaning a rifle one day...and he came to the armory and started giving ME safetly lectures...!!!! i am by no meens a butch woman but a lil on the womans rights side uuummm yes....
i want to be a police officer...he said, that's not a woman's job... he is a sweet man..great provider...( i really don't want to make him sound horrible ).but sometimes i thing he needed to marry a woman with no mind of he own..

tarantula Thu 24-Mar-05 15:26:38

Im not actually married to dp cos we aint got round to organising it yet (that is something he leaves to me to do as he cant do organising but I can be bothered at ATM) but have been together for 11 years now and I dont feel like a maid cos he does most of the housework (he tidied the garden AND washed the windows yest. as well as the usual stuff). Nor do I ever pretend not to know something just to boost his ego cos thatd annoy him as he knows me too well for it to work.

justamom Thu 24-Mar-05 15:27:02

a question to the moms that sit an dwendle...what shape are you in....i can't imagine just sitting...and shopping, doesn't take much brain power....but, then again..everyone is different...i am a lil "hi strung" i need to do and i need to see progress...

Cod Thu 24-Mar-05 15:27:06

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Enid Thu 24-Mar-05 15:28:04

I drink a lot of coffee so I can do the housework quicker

Cod Thu 24-Mar-05 15:28:34

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Bozza Thu 24-Mar-05 15:29:48

I think cod its along the lines of she's carrying something slightly heavy and he says "heer give me that, you're gonna break your back" because after all she is only a weak and feeble woman.

Enid Thu 24-Mar-05 15:31:36

isn't he just being kind?

tarantula Thu 24-Mar-05 15:32:17

Sounds to me like he is quite insecure and needs to boost his ego by putting you down and always knowing more than you. Sorry got no idea how to deal with that tho. Im the independent type too and like to do things myself rather than have to ask someone to do them esp if it means having to pretend to be girly.

Preggars Thu 24-Mar-05 15:32:18

lol - don't understand this thread...?

marthamoo Thu 24-Mar-05 16:23:48

I lie on my king sized bed all day long: on satin sheets, wearing a marabou trimmed negligee, furry high heeled mules on my pedicured feet, and eating chocolates out of a heart shaped box. Dh works his fingers to the bone to keep me happy. Who needs independence?

wild Thu 24-Mar-05 16:26:05

well your dh by the sounds of it marthamoo!

tarantula Thu 24-Mar-05 16:27:44

lol mm Do you ahve a nanny in a starched uniform to bring the children (all clean and tidy) into your boudoir for a strict 1/2 hour of mummy time every day?

Cod Thu 24-Mar-05 16:28:03

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Cod Thu 24-Mar-05 16:28:09

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