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I'm feeling broody but I really don't want any more DC's

(7 Posts)
ChristmasDisco Mon 15-Dec-08 19:22:03

We have 2 lovely DD's (5 & 3), i'm a SAHM. DH would love to have another DC but he knows I don't want one and he agrees with my reasons for not wanting another;

Don't have any outside help so don't feel as though we could face starting from scratch;
Over the last year we have started to gain independence - go away a lot, pub lunches, no real stresses (thankfully)
DD's very settled and easy and new baby would change dynamic of the family (maybe/possibly for the worse).
We haven't the room in the house and aren't moving

So despite having been so adamant that we're not having one, why is it that i'm starting to get really broody? Is this normal when you get to this stage and life starts becoming easy again? I have not talked to DH about this cos I know he will get his hopes up and I really don't want that.

Greyclay Mon 15-Dec-08 21:56:55

I think it's important to be self-aware when it comes to family planning. You say that you and your family are happy and settled. Maybe that's your answer?

You will always love a new baby should one come along but you know, intellectually, that babies are very challenging and would require a certain degree of sacrifice from the entire family. Especially if you have no other support systems in place. Feeling broody is totally normal because I believe you will always miss your children at certain ages and stages. At any rate, there is obviously no right or wrong answer when it comes to this sort of thing but perhaps you should think about how satisfying it is to have two children, a nice DH and a nice life as things are?

ChristmasDisco Tue 16-Dec-08 08:10:57

yes I know you're right and that is the answer i'm 95% sure of it, its just that niggling 5% that has never been there before. Even DH said this morning 'you know what's missing? A big bump on your tum!' hmm

ginnny Tue 16-Dec-08 12:05:14

I feel exactly the same as you Christmas.
Between us dh and I have 3 dc and it would be disastrous, both financially and emotionally for us to have another baby right now. I've got my independance back now they are all at school, a good job and a social life again. But I'm 38 now and often have those "what if" feelings and find myself staring wistfully at babies.
I think with me its more about wanting to go back in time to when I had my babies, rather than actually wanting another one.
My mum confessed that she still feels the same and she's 56 shock but she consoles herself with her grandchildren safe in the knowledge she can hand them back!!!

Greyclay Tue 16-Dec-08 12:42:31

You've probably already done this but have you had a serious sit-down chat with your husband about the implications of having another baby? It sounds as though he's idealizing/missing the baby-stage too. Maybe if you really talk about what it would mean for you and your DH, as well as the impact it would have on your children (i.e. of course they would be excited but it would also mean that they would have less, or at least have to share, more of your resources and your time)

I'm half shaking my head at myself as I write this because no one would have children if they were totally pragmatic about it all of the time. It's just that these are questions I pose myself quite often so I know what you're going through. Good luck!

ChristmasDisco Tue 16-Dec-08 13:05:54

We have talked about it in the past and for us we know its not sensible or practical to have another. DD2 is 3.8 and is absolutely lovely. She's such fun and I know that that is what he is going to miss, the innocence of her age and the fact that she is just so funny, though I know the next may not be like that. We missed this with DD1 who's very reserved and mature for her age. Thanks for your responses though.

ginnny Tue 16-Dec-08 13:32:00

If the reason for wanting another child is that you will miss having a funny little toddler around then we would never stop having babies would we?
I find it hard accepting that that chapter of my life is over and I do miss it but I have to concentrate on how lovely my dc are now and of course the lack of sleepless nights, dirty nappies etc...

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