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The OW is coming back to UK from China in New Year :(

(14 Posts)
CowsGoMoo Sun 14-Dec-08 20:52:08

Title says it all really

Not been on here in ages, thought I was coping, but he told me today she is coming back to work for him again, so its obviously all starting up again.

I don't know if MIL and FIL will have her living with them again or if baby is coming this time either.

Why do this to me just before Christmas? Feel so unchristmassy anyway, though trying for the kids

Starting to feel low again


JodieO Sun 14-Dec-08 20:55:57

Why is he still working where his OW does? They had a baby together? I assume the OW would stay with her baby?

I feel for you but don't be a doormat, he sounds like an idiot tbh. It's not worth staying together just for the kids. I left my H months ago now and I couldn't be happier, the kids are happy and I feel so good. I hope things look up for you soon. Take control of your own life and I'm sure you'll feel a lot better for it. Don't just be the person that has things done to them, make the choices yourself and go from there.

squeaver Sun 14-Dec-08 20:56:33

Oh I remember your story, cows. Poor you, what a strain for you.

Sorry can't write more now but didn't want your post to go unanswered.

CowsGoMoo Sun 14-Dec-08 21:01:05

Hi JodieO, its his business and she is Chinese business partner, so not really stopped working together but she went back to Beijing.

Baby is hers and her best friends husbands!!! not my exhusbands! She has no morals at all.

she came over last August and left baby behind in China for 2 months,

Dont know how to link to my old story, sorry

Im no doormat, Ive got myself a new job and am moving to a new town very very shortly, but just as I pick myself up, he pulls me right down again

JodieO Sun 14-Dec-08 21:22:08

Ah I see, he is your ex? It's hard to know without reading your other thread, sorry. I would try and not think about it (easier said than done I know) but you need to be strong and know that you're a better person than them and especially the OW, she sounds awful.

Heated Sun 14-Dec-08 21:32:36

I remember your thread and am so impressed and pleased you've got a new job and a new start. This particular OW sounds poisonous and, if he's now your ex, she thankfully isn't your problem. Weirdly you might even get to the stage of pitying those who do come into contact with her!

Quattrocento Sun 14-Dec-08 21:39:21

I remember your thread CGM and so glad to hear that you've done so brilliantly at picking yourself up. S'just a temporary blip I am sure. Good luck!

CowsGoMoo Sun 14-Dec-08 21:56:06

Haven't got round to divorcing the beep just yet!

He gives off the impression that he wants to be with us, wanting family time with the four of us together then he drops this.

She seems to really control him and I cant understand why?

she says shes coming back and he drops the bombshell and us at the same time

Its been 9 months now since he has gone, just wish he would not have given us the wrong impression recently, more sad for my children really

he is a prat, especially as he seems willing to take her baby on, he cant see that she is a serial husband beder, she has destroyed her best friends marriage and their childs life, moved on to my husband and for a few months pretended her baby didnt exist to enjoy the single life with my husband.

feel better for venting here.....

think Christmas is hard too.... Xmas cards have been appearing recently some with his name still on and some without, both types seem to reduce me to tears

thanks for anyone whose read this smile

WhirlingStirling Tue 16-Dec-08 20:19:41

Oh Cows, I really feel for you. I remember your story. Have you been living apart all this time or has your h still been with you?

SO glad you have a job now and you are moving on with your life. Did you run too? How is that going? I know it really helped my self esteem to get fit again. And, of course, it is something I enjoy doing on my own.

I hope your pil dont let her stay. Did they honestly put her up last time? How on earth do you talk to them after that?

Remember you are better than them. Your dc will know that in future.

Take Care and I hope your Christmas is peaceful.

Alexa808 Wed 17-Dec-08 02:37:09

Hello CGM, I remember your story! Ahh, the slut is back. How nice for her. I hope she slips on ice onto her lying flat face.

You've done really well, lining up a new job and a new home. I agree with Quattro, it's just a blip, don't let it get out of control. Say to yourself it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. As it really doesn't. All the better for your dc not to see your nasty PIL!!! Just ignore them and spend Xmas with your side of the family and have tosser H over if he fancies...alone, without his chop sui.

bollockbrainASSofBETHLEHEM Wed 17-Dec-08 06:31:34

she sounds a right old slapper. Christmas always makes these things worse.

Am with Alexa on this, let them get on with it. You are rebuilding your life, don't let this bring you down. Enjoy family time with your side of the family.

Also, am a great believer in what goes around comes around, so the tosser ex, will not be able to have his cake and eat it for ever.

Amazoniancracker Wed 17-Dec-08 08:39:03

Hello CGM! I remember your thread too. I remember your pain and really felt for you, though I was posting under a different name then.

Similar pain shot me to bits for a few months too but am getting back on my feet slowly.

Bloody very well done you for picking yourself up, finding a job and deciding to move. You sound strong and very brave. You sounded strong and brave back then too, despite your pain.

The chinese cow, as the others say, is Just Not Your Problem now. She is your soon to be xh's problem. And she will be a big problem for him. He sounds as weak as cats pee. You are well rid of him.

Ok, so to christmas and these blasted anniversary-type-special-times. It must be your first xmas since he left? It's mine too. It's going to be hard. Fact. But not as hard as those days and months when my h first disappeared to shag whores. Nothing could be as hard as back then. Remember this. You have lived with the truly awful times and come through. So these 'discoveries' - that short-arsed yo-yo knickers is coming back for instance - are really just tiresome blips as quattro says. The blip may last a couple of days but then you're over it.

I have made plans for xmas - too many really. But everyone I am going to stay with/lean on knows that I may change my mind last-minute, or come home or indeed wail. I am just going to take each day as it comes and get it over with. I am even looking forward to it.

You have your lovely children, you have your re-organised and new life and you no longer have the deep initial pain of betrayal and fear to cope with. You have proved yourself to be very capable and you can hold your head high. Life throws us a lot of shit and we have to get on with it. Your h has just invited his shit back into his - so he's going to have to deal with it. Not you.

You can do this. You are doing it. You are a good woman. Smile and laugh that your totally insensitive idiot weak h has blown his life in many ways.


TheCrackFox Wed 17-Dec-08 09:44:41

Amazonian, your posts are always amazing.

CGM, your ex is a twat and by the sounds of it they deserve each other. She will use him and eventually tire of him. He will be left with no wife, DCs and feeling like a prat.

So glad that you have got a job and moving on with your life. Don't let this whore control your emotions. You are better than both of them.


Alexa808 Wed 17-Dec-08 09:45:31

Well said Amazoniancracker!

See CGM, the point is, rather have it hurt once, making the cut once and then letting it heal, small cracks here and there, but it is healing, rather than still being with X for the sake of it and then being lied to and hurt again and again.

You have built yourself and your dc a path into the future, a good future if I may add, so don't let him continue to upset you. Stick your fingers in your ears and go la-la-la...complain to your friends and let them support you, everyone will understand. Your X and his slunt are not your responsibility!! Focus on the good people and things around you whenever you get upset. Don't let them take anything away from you anymore. x

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