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pissed and pissed off... rant

(26 Posts)
TheVillageIdiot Sun 20-Mar-05 22:13:56

Well before I even start I will admit that I've had a fair bit to drink BUT I'm so cross with 'd'p

Last night we went out clubbing and it ended with me getting pissed off and telling him wgat about, we didn't have a row as such because he always just shrugs everything off but he didn't pacify me and I ended up sulking, I'm still sulking and he hasn't even noticed! he's still diwn the pub ffs!!!!

How do you make someone realise that it's serious enough for you to leave them without actually leaving them??? I'm not prepared to compromise, I've told him how I feel what more can I do???

I love him so much and I know he worships me but n matter how much you love someone if something really bothers you can you see passed it??

I just don't know. I don't want to loose him but this thing really really bothers me, I laid my cards on the tab;e when we got back together - told him not to get back with me if he wsn't prepared to stop and he told me he'd sorted it, calmed down wasn't onna anymore and yet here I am still furious about something that happened last night and he's down the pub!!! Well I'm not bloody well texting him!

I wonder if he's dumb or just doesn't give a fuck sometimes!!!

HELLO I'm thinking of finishing with you I'm that bothered and you don't even realise it - even though I have practically said the words - I mean - FGS!!! what else can I do??

Haven't proof read - words are blurry - hope it makes sense mind!! MEN!!! It would break my heart to loose him but I can't ignore it, even if I am wron gI just can't stop it bothering me!

CountessDracula Sun 20-Mar-05 22:15:53

Quoi?!

Beetroot Sun 20-Mar-05 22:22:48

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rickman Sun 20-Mar-05 22:24:12

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TheVillageIdiot Sun 20-Mar-05 22:24:51

I don't really want to say but it's illegal.

TheVillageIdiot Sun 20-Mar-05 22:25:59

He doesn't live me with me - has a key but doesn't live here.

Am barely speaking to him but he said he'd be back before 9:30... under the circumstance I'm very offended.

rickman Sun 20-Mar-05 22:27:28

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MadameButterfly Sun 20-Mar-05 22:27:54

Could you ask him for the key back and tell him that you want a break for a few days to think things through?

TheVillageIdiot Sun 20-Mar-05 22:29:41

v difficult that last thing I want is to loose him but I justy can't stop it bothering me. I don't think I'm worng but all my friends do - maybe I'm jjust a boring old fart

rickman Sun 20-Mar-05 22:32:32

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snafu Sun 20-Mar-05 22:35:23

I don't see what's wrong with getting pissed pff with him if he's doing something illegal. And if the fact that you were out clubbing at the time is relevant then I would take an educated guess at what that illegal thing might be - and I'd be very pissed off too. (Sorry if I'm barking up the wrong tree.)

TheVillageIdiot Sun 20-Mar-05 22:35:41

No but it has the potential too. I think of myself as fairly relaxed and I am the first to hold my hands up and say I was a (very) wild child but then perhaps that's why it bothers me more?!?! I dunno. I'm very much a 'what if-er' if that makes sense!

TheVillageIdiot Sun 20-Mar-05 22:38:11

almost bang on snafu.

He was worse but I said when we gt back I'd compromise and turn a blind eye when we went clubbing within reason but he did something last night that was kinda next level ifywim

and I just dunno - I'm just so cross

rickman Sun 20-Mar-05 22:38:31

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TheVillageIdiot Sun 20-Mar-05 22:41:28

Sorry my last paost doesn't read well

what I meant was

when we split up he went off the rails, his last girlfriend was into the same things. I said when we got back together that I would not except it but to compromise I would turn a blind eye when we went clubbing (not often) if he cut it out completely other than that (my thinking that I could then work on him to stop compltely)

but last night - well last night was too much!

rickman Sun 20-Mar-05 22:43:52

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snafu Sun 20-Mar-05 22:44:03

I'm not judging, btw! I'm in no position to

But...FWIW I am now very much a 'boring old fart' about stuff like that and couldn't care less who knows it. It caused big probs with me and xh as I'm afraid I wouldn't condone anything in the way of you-know-what once ds got here. I don't think there's much useful that i can say because my reaction (these days) to stuff like that might be regarded as a bit OTT but I do certainly understand why you are concerned/angry.

snafu Sun 20-Mar-05 22:46:16

sorry, posts corssed!

so has he cut it out completely other than clubbing-wise?

TheVillageIdiot Sun 20-Mar-05 22:47:09

snafu - I know you're not judging

rickman - was til lasat night

Am I over reacting? bugger think his cars just turned up! I am so drunk.

rickman Sun 20-Mar-05 22:48:45

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rickman Sun 20-Mar-05 22:49:28

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hatsoff Sun 20-Mar-05 22:51:39

what a difficult situation - maybe he really "went for it" last night, as it were, to make up for the rest of the time. Sounds to me like you really need to talk it through - tell him exactly what it is you're prepared to turn a blind eye to (I mean talk it through, explicitly - frequency, amount, type etc etc); make double sure that he realises this is already a compromise. Explain your reasons for your feelings on the issue. Maybe - to give him the benefit of teh doubt - he thought last night was within the bounds of your previously agreed compromise - in which case you're just going to have to explain to him that it wasn't, if you want to be conciliatory you can say that you didn't realise that he wouldn't realise, but lay your cards of the table now and give him your bottom line.

hatsoff Sun 20-Mar-05 22:54:00

have just re-read and realised the nature of the line he crossed last night (I think) - no you're not out or order, he's doing something that could so disrupt your life and your kids life

rickman Mon 21-Mar-05 07:14:30

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TheVillageIdiot Mon 21-Mar-05 09:30:42

Hi, no hangover as yet.

Yes it was him - had it out (again). He knew exactly what the limits were before Saturday. I know it was a one off but I wanted him to know that even a one off wasn't acceptable. Especially one offs that can easaily become regular one offs.

So anyway, I spelt it out again - told him I would leave him over it no matter how much I loved him and that he should think about consequences (ran through various scenarios), he's promised it will never happen again and that it was just because his mate had put him on the spot, I saw the whole thing and so I know his mate did point her in his direction. I suppose I just wait and see now.

He said he would pack up everything completely if that's what I wanted, I said that was his decision to make but he was very aware of my feelings on the matter. I can turn a blind eye when we go out because he doesn't go overboard, he's quite sensible about it but I really do want him to stop.

My problem is - I don't want him to start hiding it from me.

Anyway we never argue, so it was kind of me lecturing him, him grovelling and just saying what I wanted to hear but we had lots of cuddles before sleep and again this morning but we're still not really speaking properly (or rather I'm not really speaking). I'm gonna cook a nice dinner tonight so we can sit down and have a sober conversation.

Hopefully it will never happen again. What do you think? I'm not sure there's anything else I can do! Oh and thanks for listening to my drunken ramblings last night, was really good to le off a bit of steam on here before talking to him! I know I was a little worse for wear didn't realise I'd polished off two bottles of wine

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