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im pregnant by the man i love and cant possibly have it....go gently on me please

(239 Posts)
Littleblue Mon 01-Dec-08 21:14:43

....i was told ovulation had stopped shockshocksad,im nearly 40,ive already got 4 kids,and the youngest starts full time school next month,the eldest starts uni next year.I left a violent relationship last june,and ive finally got a new house and everyones settling down.My lover lives a long way away,with a big family of his own and we only see each other twice a month,hes a separated single parent too.

I love him to bits,im absolutely devastated,i so so cant have another child,my body/mind and finances are all buggered sadsad im in pieces..sad

nowwearefour Mon 01-Dec-08 21:17:00

dont know what to say Littleblue. Sending you lots of hugs and kind thoughts. Poor you. Sounds like a horrible situation to be in.

MrsSportacus Mon 01-Dec-08 21:18:40

Poor poor poor you.
What a terrible situation to be in. I don't think anyone could judge you on this. Take some time to think -see a counsellor to help you through - are you going to tell him?

solidgoldbrass Mon 01-Dec-08 21:18:43

Poor you. DO you know how far advanced your PG is? Is there time to get some sort of counselling before making a decision?
Sending you lots of sympathy.

fryalot Mon 01-Dec-08 21:18:50

oh littleblue, how bloody awful for you!

What does your dp have to say about it? You are going to need some support no matter what you decide.

TipsyFairydifferentID Mon 01-Dec-08 21:19:00

Would adoption be an option for you rather than the other? That way, you still have the option to change your mind later in the pregnancy if you wanted. You don't sound as if you really want to terminate the pregnancy, if you don't mind me saying? Have you spoken to anyone in rl about this yet?

Littleblue Mon 01-Dec-08 21:19:21

Im trying not to weep constantly,teens notice these things

Littleblue Mon 01-Dec-08 21:20:47

Ive told my best friend,why would you WANT te end a pregnancy if you love the father..i have to,its impossible

theinsider Mon 01-Dec-08 21:21:26

If he's separated why might anyone not be gentle smile

It all sounds far from ideal but not something you'd be judged on.

fryalot Mon 01-Dec-08 21:21:29

what does your best friend have to say about it?

TipsyFairydifferentID Mon 01-Dec-08 21:22:28

(((hugs to you)))
the only thing you need to do at the moment is speak to your partner.
Do you have any idea how far along you might be?

Aitch Mon 01-Dec-08 21:22:29

terrible situation, littleblue, i hope you can come to some peace with it whatever happens. have you told him yet?

Littleblue Mon 01-Dec-08 21:23:39

I dont know how to tell him,hes as family orientated as i am,and vry sensitive...hes also older than i am,we have both DONE the baby thing,he has 2 sets of twins!

theinsider Mon 01-Dec-08 21:24:57

how pregnant are you? What do you think his reaction might be?

Littleblue Mon 01-Dec-08 21:25:17

Im about 5 weeks,i know its early days,but ive buried 2 miscarriages in the past..which was so painful.

NCRedBreastedBirdy Mon 01-Dec-08 21:26:05

Oh Littleblue, how unbelievable hard for you sad

You are clearly a strong person to have gone through so much in the last year or so but you really need some support, I hope that dp can help and your BF.

I cannot think of anything helpful to say at all, I am so sorry sad

Littleblue Mon 01-Dec-08 21:27:37

I think he will feel as i do

Mung Mon 01-Dec-08 21:27:44

What a difficult situation for you littleblue. I hope you manage to speak to your partner about it soon.

wonderstuff Mon 01-Dec-08 21:28:55

((hugs)) Don't know what to say. I hope you find peace

theinsider Mon 01-Dec-08 21:29:24

sad for you

ThePeachyPlumFairy Mon 01-Dec-08 21:29:55

This is actually not the first time somebody I've 'known' has been through this- though last time was a rl person- 4 kids, in a refuge....one night out in years and pregnant again!

She had the baby and it was hard but all the local agencies (surestart homestart etc) helped and she was OK. Actually, she's an amazing Mum, I can;'t even begin to think what she has been through.

Go with your hreart, its the only thing that matters- whichever way that leads you everything else will fall into place.

Good luck

Littleblue Mon 01-Dec-08 21:30:11

My friend is there for me whatever decisioni make,she and i have been through a similar history,and shes so upset for me,i had blood tests!! it must be a rogue,late egg,menopause is early in my family

idobelieveinsanta Mon 01-Dec-08 21:30:21

You will have to speak with your dp...you can't go through it on your own.

Support each other and i am sure you will figure it out.

hugs

MrsSportacus Mon 01-Dec-08 21:30:28

If I got pregnant now - 35, 2 kids, separated - I think I'd make the same decision as you..and I'm catholic. Whatever happens please try and be kind to yourself..this is a terrible thing to happen, not something to make you a terrible person.

justaboutandthecarolsingers Mon 01-Dec-08 21:31:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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