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2 year old dd sleeps in bed with me...good idea?

(12 Posts)
Caththerese1973 Sun 20-Mar-05 03:49:37

in the wake of my recent separation from my husband, my 2 year old daughter has been sleeping in the bed with me (we share a mattress on the floor at my mother's place!). There is a portacot here at good ol' mum's as well but dd keeps waking up in the night and crying and so I let her go in the bed with me.
I think she is traumatised slightly - the circumstances of my separation from husband were rather awful.
I am worried, though, that if she sleeps with me here she will not want to go back into her own cot when we get our own place. I actually find it rather comfroting and nice to share the bed with her but I don't think it should become the standard arrangement.
What do you think? Should I try to make her get back into the habit of sleeping by herself right now? Or wait until things have settled down a bit and we have some regularity in the other areas of our lives?

justamom Sun 20-Mar-05 04:44:15

be there for each daughter and i slept together for 2.5 years until my now husband starting coming over night......she was my best friend and we knew that we were there for each other and no one was gonna change that even if the rest of the world fell my advice...Do what makes it easier for both of you to cope...worry about the rest latter....i mean who cares how long she sleeps with her mom, right? sorry if i am a lil out spoken, i just remember my dd and me and she made life so much better

franke Sun 20-Mar-05 07:38:15

Agree with justamom. If she is traumatised, sleeping with you will ease her anxiety. Even when you are in a place of your own try not to be too eager for her to sleep alone - it will happen in good time when you are both feeling more comfortable and settled. Hope things get better for you soon

Katemum Sun 20-Mar-05 07:41:26

Give her the comfort that she needs now. She is then more likely to regain the confidence she needs to sleep on her own later on.

bathmummy Sun 20-Mar-05 07:55:43

My DD1 slept in our bed for ages and ages, took a while to persuade her to go back into her own bed but when the time was right she did it happily and with little fuss.
Do what feels right for you both.

misdee Sun 20-Mar-05 08:06:45

my 5yr old still sleep in my bed when daddy is away in hospital. she gets so worried and needs to know i'm close by.

kelli22 Sat 26-Mar-05 12:39:01

My dd (5) sleeps in her won room now but she slept with me until she was 3, i was having a rough time and was all over the place it was her only bit of stability really, it was hard to get her to sleep in her won room but i waited until everything else was stable ie me and my dp we moved inot a ew home and i decided it would be a new start she would have her own room from the very 1st night and tho we had to have tweenies on til 5 am n get up once an hour to switch it back on, also a stage when she climbed over the stair gate covered herself in poo and came downstairs! this went on for about 2 weeks and she was going to bed at 10pm and i started to get her to go earlier and earlier, this lasted 2 weeks, since then she goes to bed at 7pm no hassle but if at 1st you don't succeed try and try again, just do it when you feel settled and she's content.

Good luck

Clayhead Sat 26-Mar-05 14:24:57

My 3 year old dd sleeps with me when dh is on nighs and sometimes by herself/sometimes with us when he isn't.

Personally, if it was me, I would leave things as they are until you or your dd feel you want a change.

NomDePlume Sat 26-Mar-05 15:17:20

I'd wait for things to settle a bit first. If she had been co-sleeping since she was tiny and there was no emotional reason for it then I would be encouraging you to try her in her own bed, but in light of recent events I would say that it is unlikely to do her any harm, she wants the reassurance of Mummy, it's natural. Huge hugs.

lisa34 Sat 26-Mar-05 16:05:10

my son is 4.5 and still sleeps in our bed every night. He is put in his own bed 1st and after about 3 hours he is in our bed - it's my own fault i introduced him into our bed when he was a new baby and of course he has got used to the contact. I know that in time he will want to go into his own bed but for the time being I am enjoying having him with me - cos there will come a time when cuddling mum will not be cool!!!

Davros Sun 27-Mar-05 00:08:35

In your situation I would let her sleep with you, it sounds like she needs to at the moment and she's still little. When the time comes that you can and/or want to get her to sleep in her own bed you could try getting her an "exciting" bed. A friend of mine had her son with her for years (he is autistic and she's a single mum). She started seeting someone and was desperate to get her DS out of her bed so she got him a bunk bed and he loved it, has never looked back.

mamadadawahwah Sun 27-Mar-05 02:02:53

Cath, when you daughter is ready, she will go into her own bed. There will come a day when she will insist on it. Enjoy the warmth and comfort you are both getting. I dont understand the argument against co-sleeping with children. It dosent last long. We should enjoy it. Soon enough they will be moving out of the house altogether!. Enjoy it, it dosent do any harm.

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