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Anyone else got/had alcoholic parents?

(9 Posts)
OhToBeSober Sat 19-Mar-05 22:03:21

Changed my name for this (sorry - deep feelings of shame and all that).

He's actually my step-dad, but the only Dad I've known since age 4.

I wish I could just cut him out of my life frankly, but worry about him since my Mum died a few years ago.

I visited him this earlier this evening, taking my 2 small children with me. He opened the door at 5.45pm smashed out of his head.

He makes me so angry, his drinking drove my mother into alcohol dependence.

Why oh why can't I stop feeling sorry for him and just forget he exists?

lavenderrr Sat 19-Mar-05 22:23:00

I know how hard it is to want to hate them for what they are doing and at the same time take pity on them for their obvious weaknesses, don't have much advice to give except that my father was an alcoholic and drank himself to death, I too felt angry at why he had to do this but he did it, none of us could stop him, we have forgiven him and I am happy to discuss anything relating to this...a bit pi** myself as obviously runs in family but seriously can you talk to him when he is sober and really find out the reason behind it all, alcoholics are weak willed people, often very sensitive, artistic types who can't confront the world....maybe your stept-father has problems he finds hard to talk about....but really needs to talk dad didn't get enough is possible to at least do a little something...sorry can't be more help but will help in anyway I can[smiel]

OhToBeSober Sat 19-Mar-05 22:36:16

Lav, he doesn't and will never think he has a problem. He is the least sensitive/artistic person I know.

As a grown woman with a family of my own, I wish I could stop this man getting to me and sending me on the same old guilt trips.

Frankly, I wish he'd drop dread.

OhToBeSober Sat 19-Mar-05 22:43:11

meant to write drop dead, but now think what a terrible thing to say.

nightowl Sat 19-Mar-05 23:09:56

its a terrible thing isnt it to feel so responsible for someone. we love them so much yet they make us so angry because they just wont stop. its like having an extra child at times when all we want is a parent

OhToBeSober Sat 19-Mar-05 23:19:56

You've got it in one nightowl .

I spent vast amounts of my childhood taking on a parental role, I've had enough.

nightowl Sat 19-Mar-05 23:22:45

its a really hard situation...but nothing you say or do will help if he doesnt realise he has a problem...i know from experience unfortunatly. wish i knew the answer but i dont, and have had the same

OhToBeSober Sat 19-Mar-05 23:27:31

Thanks for being here nightowl .

I usually bury this stuff, as I've always done, for as long as I can remember. Most of the time I just let it wash over me - same old, same old.

The important thing is to promise myself (and I have) that my children will not endure what I did.

nightowl Sat 19-Mar-05 23:32:02

yes. precisely. you cant change the past but you can make sure the future doesnt go the same way. alcoholics dont realise how much it affects everyone else. its "well if i wanna get drunk i will, its not hurting anyone else" but it does!

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