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I'm being totally unreasonable but...

9 replies

goreousgirl · 18/03/2005 12:25

Recently we've got an au pair so that I could have a rest - things were getting on top of me.

Within a couple of weeks, I landed some freelance work and dh is caring for ds whilst I work at home in the office.

He's really into cooking, and wants to make ds home cooked food - but the things that are really important (to me), keep being dismissed - like eating and sleeping routine.

Today, I left the computer to get some tea - the kitchen was a complete state, with ds whinging in high chair with finger food. The spoon food was totally untouched, as dh had tried to feed too early, because it fits in with his plans to go out for a walk in sunshine.

DS is now left without a proper lunch, I had to clean the kitchen (au pair at school), dishwasher broken by the way - and he is about to take him for a walk that isn't necessary. we also need to pack for the weekend - so I guess I'll do that too! When I raised the subject, dh said he is in pain - no mention earlier when chatting lightly!

Aghhh....

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WideWebWitch · 18/03/2005 12:35

Tbh if he's in charge then he's in charge would be my view - you can't be 'at work' and then come and interfere! And it sounds good, taking him for a walk. You could have left the kitchen adn negotiated later about who did it. If you were working and NOT at home you wouldn't even know this stuff, I think you should behave as if you are out of the house. AS long as dh isn't doing anything dreadful which it doesn't sound as if he is to me!

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goreousgirl · 18/03/2005 12:39

I know, I know , but I am a control freak - I don't WANT to be doing the work (mind you who does?) He promised he'd do things my way so I could relax, and I feel like it's all to suit him. In my life my kids come first, in his - he does, no matter what! Love him to bits - he's a great dad, but he's done some stupid things in his life before just to get to a coffee house...

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Hulababy · 18/03/2005 12:39

Have to agree that if DH is in charge, then he needs to be left to it. I wold also not have cleaned the kitchen, and left it for him to do later - after he has gotten back from hsi walk.

I am sure after a while of doing it, they will both get into a routine of their own anway - babies do generally sort themselves out into one I find. And DH will be forced to go along with it then.

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goreousgirl · 18/03/2005 12:42

I'm laughing to myself here reading this - there's probably 100 people out there WISHING their dh would look after their kids - what am I whinging about - I'm awful aren't I?!

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anorak · 18/03/2005 12:43

Maybe he has a different routine worked out to the one you devised - and he should be able to implement it if he is going to care for ds.

I know how you feel as I am a bit of a control freak too! You worry all the time about what might go wrong. But I think WWW is right, you should try and let go and let him do it his way. I expect he was planning to clear up when he came back from his walk.

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goreousgirl · 18/03/2005 12:46

Don't think so anorak - think he was planning to be out when au pair gets home at 1pm and leave her to do it!! Love to think he's that nice but hmmm...

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WideWebWitch · 18/03/2005 12:59

Is it part of au pair's job? If so then, yes, leave it for her to do! Definitely! (My dp has been a sahd for the last 9 months btw, we've only recently swapped again)