arrgh - dd's best friend permanently has lice - how do I deal with this

[geekgrrl]

Dd is 5. Her best friend from school has head lice on a permanent basis - this little girl has very long hair that generally looks a mess. She's forever scratching her head and has told me that she always has nits. To be honest, I find the head-scratching pretty gross when she comes over to play, and dd keeps catching them. I've sort of tried to talk to the mum about it - but in a feeble kind of way, saying how great the bug busting combs are but obviously to no effect. I'm getting really cheesed off with this, dd catches lice at least twice a term, I'm forever bug-busting which takes time and is uncomfortable for dd and have just found three fat adult lice on her head again, so the nit combs will be joining us on our Easter holidays.
I'm on friendly terms with the mum, but other than arranging playdates we don't really talk. Just don't know what to do - dh said the little girl shouldn't come over to play anymore and dd shouldn't go to her house, but what on earth do I say to her mum when she next invites dd over???

[MaryP0p1]

My daughter is one of those children who stands nr another child who has them and she caught them. I've managed to persuade her to cut her hair to a length where she won't catch them so easily and we haven't had them for 4 weeks now (probably a record).

Can't you get to be a bit more friendly with her and then in passing mention that your daughter forever getting nits and isn't it a nightmare kind of conversation and take it from there. I don't really think you can say your d is giving my d the friends. I don't think stopping playdates will really make any difference as they will play in school and thats where she get them from not on the playdates.

Everybody I know who has girls is constantly debugging their children. I think it comes with little girls.

[nightowl]

oh i dunno, i have to admit years ago ds had nits for ages we tried everything and i mean everything! and we couldnt get rid of them..he had beautiful wavy blonde hair and in the end we just had to shave it all off. its possible her mum knows but hasnt been able to get rid of them yet and is a bit embarrassed about it. i know i was because people thought we just werent trying!

[noddyholder]

agree with nightowl my ds is permanently riddled with them although i do the wet combing all the time But lots of his friends have them too and seems we are all fighting a losing battle as there is never going to be a time when they are all free of them.Do you think this little girl's mum treats them at all ?She may just be having real trouble eliminating them

[geekgrrl]

thanks feel slightly less cross now with the mum - she seems to try, it's just that I always get rid of them easily with bug busting (it's just time consuming and tedious but effective for my dd) and didn't know that it really could be very diffcult. I do think that her dd's hair being bottom-length does not exactly help matters but I know I shouldn't judge....

[Twiglett]

ask her if you can have a concerted effort to get rid of both of your daughters nits at the same time as you are sure that every time one of them is clear the other gives it to them

don't put the blame on her DD, do it collectively and share the pain and suffering of dealing with your respective DD's hair

[donnie]

my dd's childminder has an 8 year old daughter with long hair and she has NEVER had nits because she combs gel through it every morning and swears by it as a safe repellant. So maybe you could try that?