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(4 Posts)
TemporarilyChanged Tue 04-Nov-08 00:17:14

I've name changed for this, even though it's going to be really obvious who I am for anyone who speaks to me regularly or can be bothered to do the necessary detective work. Mostly I just don't want people I know in real life to Google my usual username & find this.

I'm in a huge mess & rapidly sinking into depression. I'm accidentally pregnant, been living with my DP for just over a month now, only been with him for 8 months (although I've known him well for about a year longer than that) & just starting uni. I'm only 20.

There's too much to just splurge out into one original post, but I think I just need somebody to talk to without scaring all of my friends & family into thinking that I'm going to collapse into useless jelly any minute. I'm trying to prove that I can hold my shit together after I've made the decision (happily) to keep the baby, etc & move quite a way away from home.

This time last year I was having a fantastic time & I was really happy. I was working in my gap year & spending pretty much all of my earnings on socialising & making a great circle of friends from the outside world - I don't tend to get on with people of my own age group, so don't have heaps of friends from school or anything. I was single & having a fabulous time of it all. Suddenly I'm engaged to be married & pregnant.

I'm absolutely terrified, really. I don't know how I'm going to make it all work. I know that I will - I have to - but it's so much, so quickly. I had so many plans & now they've all changed. & the thing is, I wouldn't change any aspect of it. I wouldn't not be in this relationship (although it's struggling at the moment), or not have the baby, or not be at uni. I want all of those things. But I'm still not happy.

& I'm wondering if I ever will be. Whether it's normal to feel this way, or whether there's actually something wrong with my life.

Earlier, I got IDed in a pub when I was trying to buy food & had no ID on me. I ended up crying to the point of having to run to the toilet. When I came back, the barmaid said I could have the food, but I was not in the mood then. It's so unlike me. I'm usually so happy & optimistic & physically can't cry in front of anyone, even people I trust. I know it's partly hormones, but even so...

I don't really know what I'm asking of you all. Sorry. I don't think I'm making much sense.

milou2 Tue 04-Nov-08 00:43:18

Do you feel like making contact with a midwife at your doctor's surgery? Sorry it is such a boring suggestion, but a midwife is neither a friend nor family and will have supported so many women through times like this.

HTH

I wish I could give you a big hug, I'm only up because my 10 yr old needs me to sit next to him til he is asleep, long story, but I'm glad because it has meant that I have seen your post.

xx

TemporarilyChanged Tue 04-Nov-08 00:45:51

I don't know. I kind of feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I feel like I'd see her & not really have anything to say. It's not like there's anything seriously wrong in my life. It's all what I've always wanted, but very sudden & far sooner than I'd expected in the most part. But I don't understand why it's not making me happy anyway.

(Thank you for being so lovely, it means a lot)

milou2 Tue 04-Nov-08 00:48:36

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