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My boss and his marital problems are driving me mad!

(3 Posts)
sameagain Sat 01-Nov-08 14:10:27

I know, I'm being really unsympathetic, but he is driving me round the bend.

His wife of 10 years has recently announced she doesn't want to be married to him anymore. Apparently, there's no-one else, she's still fond of him and considers him her best friend, but wants to end the marriage. He says there's been no other explanation. They have 2 sons.

He is a very emotional person and we(his colleagues) go through the mill with him every time he has any sort of crisis. He's prone to extreme mood swings, sulking and tantrums (yes a man in his 40s)He's also very driven at work and spends far too much of his time working. I can well imagine that he's hard work to live with. He's under the doctor and taking meds for depression.

The things I'm struggling with are that he needs to tell everyone how awful his life is at every opportunity. e.g he's on hols ATM, but phoned in yesterday (SWIM about too much work) I asked him if he's having a good week and I get," well it's lovely to spend time with the boys, but....." and then great detail about just how awful his life is, while everyone else in the office is shaking their heads and saying why did you ask? Now, if he had no-one else to talk too, I'd try to be a listening ear, but he is like this with everyone, a pleasant "how are you?" gets 30 minutes of misery. He's even doing it with customers, which frankly is embarrassing them. Is there anything I can do/say?

solidgoldbrass Sat 01-Nov-08 14:12:47

Is there another boss above him, who could be asked to have a word? Or can the head of HR step in and talk to him? Because, no matter who or what behaves like this, it's a nightmare for colleagues. It sounds really as though he ought to be signed off sick for a bit: you will all get a lot more done without him wandering round the office wringing his hands and ullulating at customers, and it will probably do him good to be out of the office as well.

sameagain Sat 01-Nov-08 14:41:59

Thanks solid. I did speak to the big boss yesterday (about something else, but we also discussed this) I agree we'd (and he'd) be better off without him for a while, but boss wants to make him come in more, as we "need to get focused for next year"

ATM he can be reasonably flexible with his woring hours and there are lots of occasions whe he is missing & no-one really knows where he is, which TBH is a bit of a godsend, better than him being in anyway, but big boss is thinking of coming down heavy and telling him to get his act together shock

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