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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support. I being paranoid?

(15 Posts)
MrsSnape Fri 31-Oct-08 22:33:22

I've been talking to a man online for a couple of weeks. He seems nice but something is not quite right. He seems to like everything I like, he thinks the same things I do, he wants the same things I do ...

all well and good but it's too good, I'm starting to wonder if it's someone that knows me that is messing around. For instance he said he liked, so do I. Then he told me his favourite art gallery...same as mine, could be another co-incidence ... he then went on to tell me his favourite painting in that gallery ... same as mine!

Then suddenly, he likes photography, same as me.

He want's to visit the same countries I do, for the same reasons ... he likes the same bands I do, the same bloody songs and everything.

I know it probably sounds like "so you have a lot in common, stop bloody moaning" but it's too uncanny iyswim? EVERYWHERE I like to go, he likes to go. He doesn't watch TV, neither do I, likes martial arts, so do I....

So am I being paranoid or would this freak you out too?

Acinonyx Fri 31-Oct-08 22:35:36

I think it would freak me out a bit too. Can you test him with something you don't really do or like irl and see how he responds?

BitOfFun Fri 31-Oct-08 22:38:01

Maybe he has googled you and is a cyber-stalker? Does he copy your statements or anticipate them?

IAteDavinaForDinner Fri 31-Oct-08 22:42:35

Freaky. Even if it's genuine, having that much in common with someone is a bit ... you know, odd.

You might get together and become one of those couples who wear matching raincoats.

MrsSnape Fri 31-Oct-08 22:46:14

He anticipates them. If it was a case of me saying "I love Harry Potter" and him replying "oh, me too!" it wouldn't bother me so much as it would be an obvious bit of 'copying' but most of the stuff, he says first. Like the martial arts, art, galleries ... favourite painter!! I mean, from all the painters in the world, how did he manage to choose MY favourite? surely nobody has THAT much in common?

In his last message, he went on to say that he was going to the ballet...this got me suspicious and then I started thinking about everything else and something isn't adding up. Can't quite put my finger on it.

misselizabethbennet Fri 31-Oct-08 22:57:44

So he might think you're copying his likes and dislikes then!

Can you tell from the converstation whether he really likes these things - does he know lots about them? It's quite a lot of stuff to learn if he's not genuine.

Maybe you could bring it up with him - 'don't you think it's odd that we have so much in common?'

wohmum Fri 31-Oct-08 23:01:10

I have absolutely no experience of this, but it does sound like he knows you and is either winding you up or really does want to impress. any ideas who it could be?

MrsSnape Fri 31-Oct-08 23:02:12

lol that's what I was worrying about too, I seem to agree with him on everything, if he is genuine he's probably thinking I'm one of those pathetic people with no mind of my own that just agrees with everyone all the time lol

BalloonSlayer Sat 01-Nov-08 07:54:40

The funny thing is though, MrsSnape, like you I would be wondering if it was someone I knew. Specifically an ex.

But how many of my exes would know what my favourite painter is? My favourite gallery? And favourite picture therein? I am not sure DH could name those things about me (well actually I don't have a favourite painter) but I have certainly told him about a favourite picture in a certain gallery and I would be astonished if he could remember.

If it is someone you know they must be really into you.

warthog Sat 01-Nov-08 09:11:26

sounds wierd. do you think it could be your ex?

Pheebe Sat 01-Nov-08 09:16:49

Unless you've posted all this info on facebook it sounds too weird to me! I think if it were me I'd either say something, test him out with something you don't like or run a mile. Bit too single white female for my liking...

NotDoingTheHousework Sat 01-Nov-08 09:17:17

Message withdrawn

SlartyBartFast Sat 01-Nov-08 09:19:19

so have you told other people all these favourites of yours?

MrsSnape Sat 01-Nov-08 09:33:18

The only person that knows all this stuff is my ex but this bloke has photos up etc ... how would he get together a load of photos of the same person?

Another odd thing is that we've been talking for a couple of weeks now, we're totally running out of things to talk about but he's made no suggestion of exchanging msn addresses, phone numbers or even personal email addresses.

Flightattendant4 Sat 01-Nov-08 09:59:14

There was a similar thread a few weeks ago. I wonder if it is the same bloke that was bothering the other MNer?

Will have a search.

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