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Does this constitute cheating?

(13 Posts)
Geezer99 Fri 31-Oct-08 14:55:41

My DW has had contact with an ex and the nature of what has been said has rocked me! I am in pieces! A lot of the internet conversations have included the idea of meeting up, reminiscing over what they used to get up to, sexually, when they were together and other inappropriate flirting of a sexual nature - it looks like it may just be banter, but I feel extremely hurt. I know nothing has 'happened' between them but does this constitute cheating??

missjennipenni Fri 31-Oct-08 15:03:24

It could be emotional cheating i suppose. Byt wether its cheating or not, it IS inappropriate! He should not be discussing his past sex life with his Ex, that would anger me a lot!

missjennipenni Fri 31-Oct-08 15:03:42


ActingNormal Fri 31-Oct-08 15:06:19

People may not think of it as cheating but it could be the first step to cheating if they get overexcited and to a point where they can't control themselves rather than just leaving it at that. I think this can happen quite quickly and without them really realising so it is best to stop now.

aGalChangedHerName Fri 31-Oct-08 15:11:19

I would be hurt and bloody angry if i found DH doing this.sad I probably would consider it cheating even if it's not a "physical" thing.

RagingHormone Fri 31-Oct-08 19:30:22

I would definately consider it cheating! If my DP did that I'd be devastated and I would finish it. I know this is not everyone's view.

You should be enough for her and she shouldn't be reminiscing with an ex about films they liked together let alone sex they liked together!

Have a word. She has serious explaining to do.

BananaSkin Fri 31-Oct-08 19:33:17

I would be furious. Not cheating as such, but as good as.

flowerybeanbag Fri 31-Oct-08 19:33:55

I don't think whether or not it's technically defined as 'cheating' matters tbh. Regardless of that it's completely inappropriate, inconsiderate and very hurtful.

misselizabethbennet Fri 31-Oct-08 19:34:55

How do you know what they've been saying to each other?

lulumama Fri 31-Oct-08 19:35:45

regardless of waht anyone else thinks, you are hurt, you feel betrayed and oyu need to sort this with your DW, sorry you are in this situation

lulumama Fri 31-Oct-08 19:37:35

also, if you found this out by snooping, as it were, you need to ask yourself why you felt the need to snoop, and why you don;t trust your wife. things must have been brewing for a while

ditzzy Fri 31-Oct-08 19:44:26

Everyone has their own opinion on when its becomes cheating or not, but if you're uncomfortable about anything she's doing you should tell her.

Did she volunteer the info that he'd been in touch at all? Was it a big secret?

To RagingHormone - she shouldn't even be discussing films they liked together?????? If discussing past likes with exs is banned to that extent then I cheat all the time! I'm actually really proud of the fact I'm still in contact with some of my exs and can talk to them. It means we split amicably enough to still be friends. And as far as I know dH also sees it as proof I'm a nice person and not the evil bitch certain exs might make me out to be!

ditzzy Fri 31-Oct-08 19:56:32

Have re-read OP. 'Suggestions of meeting up' would be very worrying. Who's making the suggestions? If its her, then huge alarm bells should be ringing; if he's suggesting and she's finding excuses not to, then she might just be trying to let him down gently?

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