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What would you do?

(4 Posts)
PurplePumpkinWitchyOne Wed 29-Oct-08 15:40:28

Had the SW come to visit today. DD1 was on her best behaviour. Even made her a cup of tea!

As soon as the woman left, it started. I found black scuff marks up the wall, where someone has tried climbing the doorframe. DD1 is the only one wearing black soled boots right now. DD2 is in slippers.
God this sounds so trivial, but I asked the girls who did it. We already have one door ripped off the hinges cos somebody climbed it, which I had to pay for and replace. (rented house)
DD1 has completely flown off the handle. I hate you, I hate DD2, your both fucking bitches, I can't fucking stand you anymore. I really fucking hate you.

She slammed the door, walked off, pulls DD2's hair on the way with a sly punch thrown in and is trashing her room up there. I'm v tempted to pack her bag and pack her off to her fathers.

I've had to put up with this for years. I'm depressed, I drink too much. Even DD2 can't be arsed to get out of bed cos in her words 'it's the same old shit every day mummy' DD2 is 11 and has talked of 'wishing she was dead'shock many times.

I cannot take this abuse in my own home much longer. We can't stand it anymore. We've tried family therapy and all that, which failed miserably. DD1 has been waiting for counselling for over a year.

Sorry, I'm rambling...Can't even be arsed to namechange

honestfriend Wed 29-Oct-08 15:55:20

How old is DD1?

PurplePumpkinWitchyOne Wed 29-Oct-08 15:57:58

DD1 is nearly 14

honestfriend Wed 29-Oct-08 16:05:17

I honestly do not know what you can do. My DS was like this at 12-15 and I did not have the option of sending him to anyone as I am married to his father!

What I WOULD suggest- and wish I had done years ago- was go for parent coaching. Parentline runs classes and if there is not one near to you, then you can talk to them over the phone.
I am sure your social worker (?) could put you in touch with the right people.

What I learned- very late in the day- was that I could not change my son's behaviour- I could only change mine and how I reacted to him.

Your daughter's behaviour is not acceptable, but it is typically teenage. You can pull through it, but she needs you to be strong, and not give in to her abuse. In order to do that, you need support from professionals.

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