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stupid non argument and he threatens to leave

(7 Posts)
maykilldh Wed 09-Mar-05 22:31:57

We are currently battling with dd (6) to get her to go to sleep on her own and stay in her own bed. she has been good for about a week. Last night at 2.30 she climbed into bed with us saying she had had a bad dream. I left her and she was just going back to sleep when DH woke up and straight away carried her screaming back to her own room. After 10 mins of her screaming for me and crying, I couldnt stand anymore and also as I am also battling to get her to go to school happily and leave me (see a pattern here!) and she had been the best ever yesterday so I didnt want her tired and grumpy today, I went in her bed with her. DH stormed in and told me to leave as we were undoing what we had done-I do see his point but I had my views as well and didnt want a fight in front of dd so ignored him. He then stomped off saying "right thats it Im going then" and started packing a suitcase (telescope and hiking boots_glad to see he had his priorities right!) and got dressed. I couldnt quite believe what he was doing or that he was so stressed given that the whole thing had blown up in 5 minutes and we hadnt even argued about it, so I said "fine-just dont bother coming back" I just felt bemused really and truely couldnt have cared what he did so went to bed with dd. This morning went back in our bed and he was in bed with his clothes on. Today he apologised and for him its business as usual. I am maintaining polite relations but avoiding his company as much as possible as am internally boiling with rage.
Firstly for him to just casually threaten to leave over such a trivial thing.
Secondly that he did it in front of dd, who last night was crying and saying "sorry mummy, I didnt mean to get you in trouble with daddy" and the first thing she said this morning was "are you and daddy going to get a divorce"
So do I go and a) cut off his testicles with a sharp knife
b) tell him exactly what I think and inflame the situation
c) see it as a temporary brainstorm on his part and ignore it?
answers on a postcode please.

zippy539 Wed 09-Mar-05 22:53:50

Um - not very good at relationships so I'd probably go for option A. Someone else will have more constructive advice. How upsetting.

maykilldh Wed 09-Mar-05 23:00:16

Thanks-was coming round to option a as noone had answered. Will make a mess on the sheets though!

pixiefish Wed 09-Mar-05 23:02:09

option a - but then you'd end up in jail and away from dd anyway so I'd go for option c

PuffTheMagicDragon Wed 09-Mar-05 23:02:30

How about option d) - when you've calmed down a bit more, try to talk it through? You're both obviously short of sleep which is v stressful.

colditzmum Wed 09-Mar-05 23:04:12

no, no, no, you don't do it on the sheets, you do it in the bath!!!! Much easier to clean.

Seriously though, I would probably have had a screaming hissy fit just then, and got the locks changed! But that's just me, it's not the right thing to do by any stretch of the imagination!

Blu Wed 09-Mar-05 23:11:26

Hiking boots and a telescope???!!!
I can't quite imagine what on earth was going on in his head, but it obviously wasn't a well thought out divorce plan - unless he is eloping with an astronomer.
I do see why he was so frustrated, though - and why you were then so mad he erupted in front of DD.
It is important to be consistent and stick it out together, and even if dd had had a bad dream you could have calmed her and then settled her in her own room. I'm exasperated because after nights of me implementing a similiar regime with DS, when it was DP's 'turn' DP then let him into our bed because he said it was too cold to walk back onto the landing and put him back to bed. I felt my interrupted nights were wasted.
Likewise, he has to understand about not rowing in front of dd, and upsetting her like that.
call a truce and talk about it all? Will save the messy sheets, anyway!

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