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I'm so torn please help

(2 Posts)
lovemuch Tue 28-Oct-08 12:29:01

Me and my bf have not been together as long as we would've liked before I fell pregnant and we had a really tough time at first but the past few months have been great and we both want our baby and to b with each other more than anything. We were planning on renting a place for us to take our baby home to for 6 months whilst sorting out buying a house. When he told his family of our plans they kindly offered us a place to live with the baby so we can save up more money for our house. This is the problem tho, I appreciate the offer but I just don't feel comfortable with living in someone elses home whilst tryng to learn and b the best mother I can to my first baby. I don't want to have to worry about leaving a plate on the side or using the kitchen or bathroom and annoying anyone else withmy habbits (which I don't consider are really bad but they are bound to be different.) I don't know how to say without people taking it the wrong way that I am scared people will help me too much with my baby and that i'll feel nervous and under the spotlight when looking after my baby. I must say I really like them so much so in that way I think maybe it wont be that way. My initial reaction was that it's not fair on them being woken in the night and having us takeover their home but my bf said don't worry my parents are really happy because they don't want me to move out and they'll love having the baby here. I feel like i'm the tagger on. I don't want to seem ungrateful or offensive but I don't know how to say I am really not happy. Also it's his money that would be paying the rent and because we've not been together for ages and aren't married I don't feel like I have a choice, not because if i don't move to b with him i'll not afford to live because that's not the case but if I don't move I'm taking my baby away from his dad four days a week (he can't move to me as it's too far from his work.) What should I do? I don't want to upset anyone, or seem ungrateful but I feel like I can't just say nothing. Help. xx

ginnny Tue 28-Oct-08 12:45:30

When I read your post the alarm bells started ringing in my head when you said
"my bf said don't worry my parents are really happy because they don't want me to move out and they'll love having the baby here."
If they don't want him to move out now, they won't want him to move out in a few months time either. It sounds a little bit manipulative to me.
I don't know what to suggest but you need to stand up for yourself here and tell them your concerns. His Mum must understand that it is YOUR baby and you must be allowed to look after him/her without interference.
Discuss it with your bf and maybe set a date in the future when you will be able to move out.
Good luck.

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