Marriage and Kids with the love of your life/soul mate OR NOT?

[MsJellybean]

How many of you out there know you have settled down with the love of your life or was there someone else before that was probably the one? Have you settled for second or even third best? Do you wish life had turned out differently?

[doggiesayswoof]

Dh is dh2. I had no dc with exdh

DH is definitely it for me.

Are you a journalist?

[WingsofaAngel]

Dh is the one and only for me.

[MsJellybean]

No not a journo. I Know DH is the one but know others where this is not the case and wondered how common this was.

[PuzzleRocks]

I wake up every morning and look at him and grin. I still have to pinch myself as I can't believe sometimes that I bagged someone so amazing. And he is the most amazing father too.
I knew from the first week he was special, we moved in together after 4 months and by 7 months we were married. Expecting 2nd baby next year.

[nickytwooootimes]

Love of my life here.

[Trebuchet]

DH is one for me but didn't always know it. Marrying was a leap of faith but I'm so so bloody glad I did it. Shudder sometimes when I think of how I nearly chose differently. Awful.

[choosyfloosy]

I don't know if he is the love of my life, but I do feel I will love him my whole life and future.

Although I thought twice when he said he was considering leaving me on Saturday. We are apparently all right again now.

[nannyogg]

Feel the same as MMAM - DH is the love of my life and a brilliant Dad, which makes me love him more.

[twinsetandpearls]

Not hence we are both moving on.

[nannyogg]

Oh, and my only serious relationship before meeting DH was a disaster and I'm glad I never had children with him.

[GirlWithTheMouseyHair]

DH is the love of my life, he saved me from myself and knows me inside out and any day now I'm going to get to see what an amazing father he will be.

So so glad I didn't have to settle...

[Ellbell]

Not love of life/soulmate in my case, but not ... We are a good team, we have a great family and I'm not looking for soulmate elsewhere. I live and have kids with my best friend. Yes, I know that other people have partners who make them go weak at the knees and sometimes I might feel a tiny bit envious (if I'm honest, I'd like to be adored occasionally, and I don't think I am), but I am grateful for what I have.

[WhatFreshHellIsThis]

He's my world.

[SamJohnsMum]

DH is definitely the love of my life and I love him more every day. He is a wonderful hubbie and a great dad, too.

[lulabellarama]

I am completely and utterly convinced that my OH is the man I am supposed to be with and the love of my life. My mum says that I light up whenever he walks into the room.

But I had several serious relationships before him where I tried to convince myself it could work in the longterm. I always knew deep down that there was better out there.

[Antdamm]

my dp is the love of my life, he's everything to me. Couldnt imagine life without him. He makes me feel whole. He's a wonderful man and an absolutely amazing dad - just ask our son

[AMumInScotland]

DH is definitely the love of my life and "the one", and I certainly can't imagine being with anyone else, or wanting to be.

But that doesn't mean that every day is filled with a glorious warm glow of loveliness - there are some lovely times, and some dodgy times, and a lot of "just getting on with the day-to-day stuff" times. I think what matters in a relationship is more how you deal with all of that, not whether you're overwhelmed by romantic love every time you see your partner.

[MrsMattie]

DH is definitely the love of my life. Brilliant husband and father, and my best friend. I honestly don't know what I would do without him, and can't imagine any other man making me even half as happy.

[sparkybabe]

I have been with DH for 20 years; we are not getting on now, and he has said that I never really loved him. Not like he loves me. He may have a point, he was a good 'catch', good job, house, car, intelligent genes to pass down, and I was lookig for a 'father' for my prospective kids.

Now he says that 20 years is too long to throw away, but what if my soulmate is out there? I tell him that 20 years is a jolly good go, and he says I should finish what I started (ie, for life).

Sorry, not really what the OP was about.

[motherinferior]

My partner is a delightful man.

I'm also quite sure we could both be equally happy with someone else. I don't believe in 'the one'.

[OrmIrian]

I don't know if DH is 'the one'. But we do OK. A few years before we had the children I met someone who I fell for hugely. However it was just lust I think. Not sure if I beleive that 'the one' truly exists.

[phantasmagoria]

No. which is why in my case it is over. I think you can TRY, and you can THINK and rationalise and go, oh, but he has x and y and z qualities, but without that lighting up thing, or something akin to it, to see you through the shitty times, the boring times, and the painful times, however pragmatic and grown up and for-the-children you want to be, it doesn't work.

[Flum]

I'm with MotherInferior there. My Dh is perfect for me and I count my blessings everyday. I am deeply inlove with him, and he is fun to be with, a great provider and a great Dad. He doesn't do much around the house and is addicted to 3 sports so is out and away alot so not perfect but pretty much. I am quite easy going though and could probably have made it work with someone else too.

I don't think I subscribe to 'the one' either. We were a bit hurried together due to accidental pregnancy but it has worked out so well that couldn't have been organised better.

[ohIdoliketobebesidethe]

Have been with Dh for 11.5 yrs. He is the one - but had it failed earlier on I prob could have found another? Still fancy him which I think really helps. I think phantasmagoria is right - you get through disagreements and struggles by still having the "lighting up" thing.