basically in a nut shell, it's DP's mum - i've not mentioned anything to him at all, but i'm getting increasingly annoyed with her/their treatment of him. recent examples include.
(dp has been out of work for the last 3 weeks btw was made redundant - but he;s looking into PT work as he wants to go to uni to finish his engineering studys) I know he's 28 & lives at home - but hes' trying. anyhow. recent things include:-
last night he's told (after not eating anything ALL day,) not to help himself to the fridge any more as it 'messed up her dinner plans' - he had two sausage rolls about half 8 as they were out in the pub getting drunk (their choice).
She knows the EXACT number of things in the cupboard so he can't even have beans on toast. This is a 28 year old man here so not a child. he usually will go all day with nothing and then eat at half 10 or later when they get back from the pub drunk. if he does help himself he gets such abuse he doesn't bother.
yet his brother can do as he wishes (has move back with his gf in the last week)
his brother carrys on the all manner of abuse with the food etc and eating what he likes from the cupboards. again He/GF can DP can't - (and hasn't all the time i've known him - of which he;s been working/paying rent)
he's not allowed to use the washing machine at all due to the 'electric' so if indeed he does have something that needs doing he does it by hand, she will wash his stuff if there's enough room at the end of the week.
as I say he wants to go back to uni to get a good sound engineering job in the boat yards, we've looked at all angles - ie if he couldn't get a job what could he do with the degree, followed by how he'll fund it etc etc, all is settled, from his folks he gets 'what do you want to do that for' followed by 'well I don't know how you're going to do that' and 'you won't do that' - can they not say OK son, how can we help you get there - ie you can study in the evenings etc when were out, or you can keep the rent money as you'll be working PT?? His dad said to him well you'll have to go on the bins then (as in be a bin man) it's good money - well yes it maybe good money but it's not what he wants to do - so should he take a job with no prospects to keep them happy? (not that there's anything wrong with bin men btw) but he has openly said to me he wants to do this to have good prospects.
oh and also last night he came home to find the telly/radio on, when his parents came back drunk, she had a major rant at him & how he was wasting electric, so when he said well actually you left it all on she said 'oh whatever'
so is she/they toxic, or controlling, I can't quite make it out tbh.
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Relationships
quick thread - is this woman a toxic parent?
SpandexIsMyEnemy · 27/10/2008 07:54
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