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Husband left 2-year-old unattended in gym

(77 Posts)
MadamJoJo Sun 26-Oct-08 12:46:54

I need your help here ladies as I am fuming.

My husband took my son to gym class and took along my 2 year old in the pushchair so I could get some housework done. The gym class is in one of those Victorian buildings where you need to access the hall by going up a small flight of stairs off a narrow corridor. It can be a bit tricky to access so i assumed hubby would take baby into the hall with him and leave pushchair in the corridor when he dropepd off the elder one. But when I was arrived I was astonished to find my 2-year-old son sitting in the corridor in the pushchair with his father no where in sight.

I went inside and saw my husband on the other side of the gym hall in the spectators' viewing area ( a mezzanine floor ) getting him dressed. I was fuming.

He had just left him in the corridor where there were people walking in and out. He hadn't asked anyone to keep an eye on him.

His excuse for leaving him there was that it was too much bother to unbuckle him for a couple of minutes while he collected DS1. It wasn't a couple of minutes if was more like 10 minutes.

He said I was crazy to be so upset. We had a brief argument in the hall and then he stormed off saying I wsa being unreasonable to be so worked up.

I would never leave my child left unattended in a public place like that, where he was out of sight and earshot with no one supervising him. My approach is a complete "no risk" policy with my kids - especially in public places.

This is not the 50s. It is London.

What do i do now? We've had a huge argument and he thinks that I am the one flying off the handle.

How do I get him to see sense?

MadamJoJo Sun 26-Oct-08 12:48:25

Sorry secon para should read

I went inside and saw my husband on the other side of the gym hall in the spectators' viewing area ( a mezzanine floor ) getting DS1 dressed. I was fuming.

foxinsocks Sun 26-Oct-08 12:50:41

lol I can feel you fuming from here

I think the few minutes vs the 10 minutes is the biggie. Were it 1 minute in a place I was familiar with, then I would say probably ok. 10 minutes is too long though.

llareggub Sun 26-Oct-08 12:52:08

He's an idiot, he shouldn't have left him.

However, thankfully nothing bad happened so there is little point in getting hysterical about it. Wait until you've calmed down and have a reasoned discussion about it and reach a common understanding for the future.

MyPumpkinDsHappyHalloweenBday Sun 26-Oct-08 12:52:33

Jo jo,
No advice but i would be exactley the same as you. I would maybe ask him how wuld he be feeling right now if your ds was taken (madeline mccann) or if he would of climbed out the pram (my ds did thid at 2) and onto the road.

I bet he will calm down probally shitting himself now, and mad that he has been caught out.

foxinsocks Sun 26-Oct-08 12:52:39

sorry, not laughing AT you but at the fact you expressed yourself so well

mumoverseas Sun 26-Oct-08 12:54:56

silly man but to be honest, sometimes they just don't think. Perhaps (when you've calmed down - if this happens before your DS reaches 16!) remind him of what happened to Madeleine last year. He probably thinks these things happen to other people but I'm sure poor Madeleine's parents thought that too. Hopefully this will have more of an effect on him that your ranting at him (in his eyes!) To be honest, I'd have done the same as you and gone mad. hope you get him to understand your concerns.

3littlefrogs Sun 26-Oct-08 12:58:08

He is mad. At 2 my boys would have undone their straps and dissappeared.

MadamJoJo Sun 26-Oct-08 12:58:59

eh, fox in socks not sure if you are taking the proverbial? i just can't believe he could be so bloody stupid. i wouldn't leave a handbag in the hall let alone a child. this is the part that really scares me. he thought it was okay?

MadamJoJo Sun 26-Oct-08 13:00:14

To make things worse, there is a 25-metre pool just down the corridor..how bloody stupid can you get leaving a kid unattended in a pram where they could unbuckle themselves and wander off.

shopaholicDIVA Sun 26-Oct-08 13:00:57

i agree, all woman wont leave child alone in the corridor hall wherever unattended. i think its man sometimes they dont think straight or sometimes they dont have common sense of what going around, and whats happening. i will be mad and make sure he never does it again.angry

3littlefrogs Sun 26-Oct-08 13:03:29

Perhaps you should ask him if he would have left his wallet there? If not, surely his child is just as precious to him as his wallet?

MyPumpkinDsHappyHalloweenBday Sun 26-Oct-08 13:03:37

I would of probally took ds outside just to scare the shit out of him (deffo wouldnt do it again).

On a serious note tho, he is silly especailly now there is a pool so close by. men can be wreckless like that, I'd like to say my dh would never do that but i could never be sure. I don't trust anyone with my kids like i trust ME.

foxinsocks Sun 26-Oct-08 13:05:01

does he often look after the kids?

I don't know, he made a mistake and that's it really. He's probably upset and a bit embarrassed because he realises that.

MyPumpkinDsHappyHalloweenBday Sun 26-Oct-08 13:06:10

fox you are a man then hey!!!

MadamJoJo Sun 26-Oct-08 13:11:11

yes he looks after the kids alot. He's not a complete no hoper by any standards otherwise I wouldn't let him have sole charge of kids.
I need to have a chat with him when i calm down. Half of my believes that he was too embarrassed to carry the baby into the gym in front of the other fathers. He is like that. A bit prickly about his masculinity.

hercules1 Sun 26-Oct-08 13:14:37

I wouldnt have worried about the child being abducted. It may not be the 50s but I believe the incidences of abduction havent risen since then...
Nor would I compare it to Madeliene Mccann.

It would have been more likely the child unstrapped themselves and wandered off.

I think you need to forgive him and forget it.

Liffey Sun 26-Oct-08 13:18:07

YANBU/

Sorry to be melodramatic, but you're right, this isn't heartbeat. Hasn't he heard of Ben Needham or Madeleine McCann.

I would be furious. You literally can't let your children out of your sight for ten seconds to get the housework done. They're not even safe with your husband because he cuts corners and takes risks and thinks anybody who who's more careful is crazy. I had this too.

elsiepiddock Sun 26-Oct-08 13:20:34

He's an idiot, but calm down before you kill him.

Men are sometimes less good at forseeing disasters. And come on! They can't multi task can they?

foxinsocks Sun 26-Oct-08 13:22:37

You can't mention ben needham or madeleine in this light. If someone quoted that back at me, I'm afraid I would think they were hysterical. As for the 'not even safe with your husband' I mean ffs.

Re the masculinity thing, can your 2 yr old walk? Because just tell him next time to let him out of the buggy and walk up the stairs with him. Doesn't have to be carried surely? He probably just needs to give himself a few more minutes for the inevitable slow toddler pace.

zeee Sun 26-Oct-08 13:22:50

Tbh, I don't think the fact that it isn't the 50s is relevant - the chance of him being abducted hasn't changed since then.

Madeleine McCann is relevant more because she probably wandering off and drowned rather than was abducted. I'd have been very worried about your toddler getting out of his buggy and wandering off.

MadamJoJo Sun 26-Oct-08 13:23:16

Hercules, I wouldn't leave you in charge of my children if that's your view. He took a risk and in my view, you don't take risks when it comes to your kids. i wouldn't leave my bag out there unattended so why my baby?

hercules1 Sun 26-Oct-08 13:24:37

How on earth do you live never taking your eyes off your children for more than 10 secs?? I agree if someone said Madeliene Mccann to me or Ben Needham I would think they were hysterical.

hercules1 Sun 26-Oct-08 13:25:59

So you're never going to let him be alone with your children ever again and you think I'm mad? grin

Liffey Sun 26-Oct-08 13:28:15

Foxinsocks, it only takes a minute to abduct a child. 30 seconds probably. And how convenient if they're actually strapped into a buggy.

Also, the poster's husband was the one who took the risk.

I'm not hysterical. I prefer not to ever take risks though. I wouldn't leave my wallet unattended either. I wouldn't be impressed with a childminder who had done that, and I'd expect children's father to take fewer risks, not more.

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