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More MIL anger

(1 Post)
bibiboo Tue 08-Mar-05 21:52:33

Another rant from em I'm afraid
I've had a few problems with my MIL since I moved in and married my dh, so I don't know if i'm just looking for problems here, but everything she does lately seems to p*ss me off.
This time it's childcare: MIL said before we even got pg that she'd give up work to look after her g/children (and because of her own reasons, she was planning to retire anyway) but now we have our dd and my return to work is imminent, she's changed her story a bit and is saying she "might" be able to have dd "most of the week" if she "feels up to it" knowing that our only other option is my gran (who lives 14 miles away, cannot drive and is in her 70s) or nursery which would cost a fortune.
If I'd known this when I'd gotten pg, we would have made some massive lifestyle changes. For one I would not have changed jobs, we could have downsized house, sold my car and I would have gone p/t or taken a 3 year career break as I do not want to leave my dd with strangers. AND we could have build up savings to plan for this before we got pg.
My dh won't stand up to her like I want him to because she becomes quite emotional/ weepy/ offended/ defensive and I can't help thinking sometimes this is just to get her own way with her equally emotional son.
She has also gone on at me in the past (in a mock-teasing kind of way) about how untidy I am...not a big deal I hear you cry, but it's always in front of people! By nature I'm a fairly neat, organised person, it's her bloody son who's a messy p*g sometimes, but I get to the point where I won't clean up after him and the house gets into a right state - shamefull in fact. Probably my own fault for being so stubborn and trying to make a point, but surely that's our business, right? Anyway, she comes round tonight without warning (we NEVER do that to her an she knows I'd prefer to know someone's calling, I think it's just polite to let people know) and the living room is in a right mess. The floor is spotless but the sofas are piled high with dd's toys, clothes, play mats etc and all our picture frames etc. Last night I'd put everything up there so I could clean the floor and dust but didn't get round the putting any of it back - slack I know, but it was nice having the whole floor for me and dd to play on all day.
I was in the bedroom when she arrives, but all I heard was "Oh my god! What a mess! I've seen it bad, but never THIS bad before! This is beyond!" etc etc, it went on for a few minutes, all in a "jokey" way, but I just sat on the bed and gritted my teeth until she'd shut up. I don't know why I can't just tell her it's offensive, and very embarassing for me and be done with it - I'm not naturally a confrontational person and don't want to argue with her, but I don't know what else to do now. If I tell dh how I feel I'm overreacting and she doesn't mean it that way etc etc.
That's better ... {slightly more relaxed emoticon}

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