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I want to feel loved again

(4 Posts)
saddest Wed 22-Oct-08 12:56:54


I am new to posting but have lurked for a while.

Lots of bad things happened all in a very short space of time. I had a horrible split from first H whch included very nasty custody battles, six in all. This went on for a long time and cost all my savings.

I met dh at this time, we were together for two years and were then blessed with our dd.

Six weeks after she was born I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, which left me in agony and unable to move well. I unfortunately didn't respond to the drugs well and ended up in hospital with pneumonia.

At this time, my main client at work ditched me in favour of a young girl. My dh still works for these people and can't understand why I am so saddened by being dumped by them.

Last week, I was replaced by a young girl again, in a different scenario at work, but this time I was expected to welcome her into our home and provide her with tea. I said no. He said that I was mad, totally unreasonable, etc etc.

We have been arguing ever since.

He puts his work clients before everything, and can't understand why I feel undermined and insecure.

I've lost all my confidence and he just calls me names.

He has said that I am unreasonable to feel sad when he still works for the client that ditched me.

Why doesn't he understand why I am sad? Why do I feel like I come last all the time and I'm not allowed to have feelings or reactions to the bad things that have happened?

mumoverseas Wed 22-Oct-08 13:02:22

I can't answer why your DH doesn't understand why you feel sad but I think a lot of men don't really understand us women and what upsets us. The thing is, men and women are so very different and different things affect us in different ways. We are sensitive most of the time whereas they tend not to be and are more practical. I can understand why you feel sad he still works for the same client but you need to be positive and move on. I'm sure there are hundreds of things that you can do better than your DH so focus on them and be happy with your DD. You can and will regain your confidence. Good luck x

saddest Wed 22-Oct-08 13:12:39

Thank you.

I think it's the being replaced by a younger model that frightens the life out of me.

We met at work, and now I've become too old for the profession, I wonder when I'll be replaced in everything else too. Illogical I know, but I'm scared.

He won't take my calls, he went to a hotel yesterday afternoon and turned off his phone. He said it was a meeting.

I'm scared. He treats my fear with contempt and ridicule.


mumoverseas Wed 22-Oct-08 13:21:07

please try not to worry. You seriously need to re-build your confidence. Are you working again now? If not, what about doing a part time course (even from home) in something totally unrelated to what you and DH do/did. It will help build your confidence and help you acquire new skills. Don't worry about younger models, and I doubt you are too old for anything! Once your confidence returns he will not be able to treat you with contempt. You show him.

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