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Am I a two-headed scaley monster with bad breath?

(7 Posts)
Greatfun Sat 18-Oct-08 23:10:07

I am just wondering (or should that be wandering because I am never sure?) because since being at home with the kids I am really struggling to make friends. Is this predicament limited to me? I am confident and happy to chat to people but its so much harder than I imagined it would be. I have resigned myself to a series of mum acquatancies rather than friends. Dont get me wrong I dont expect every person I meet to be my new best friend and I know people are busy but blimey, its hard going sometimes. Reassurance required that I am not the only one and persistence will pay off or I should just be happy with trivial chats and forget friendship for now.

(Excuse the light hearted post given some of the subjects on here.)

Monkeyblue Sat 18-Oct-08 23:15:45

Persistence does pay off

Sometimes it feels like your banging your head against a brick wall but now and again you do break it down and friendships do happen

It hard when you are at home with the kids all day.

GuiltyMummy Thu 23-Oct-08 22:44:51

OMG! I could have written this post myself :-)

I too wonder the same thing. I've always found it easy to make friends/get to know people but since having my little one it seems to be nigh on impossible.

Good to know that i'm not alone in this afterall.

Greatfun Sat 25-Oct-08 20:27:31

Don't suppose you live in Surrey/SW London? We could meet up and wallow in our lack of friends grin grin

nothingcompares Tue 28-Oct-08 09:24:05

I believe I am also a two headed scaly monster with bad breath!

I've lived in the UK for more than 15 years (born elsewhere) and in all that time haven't made a single close friend that I have 'clicked' with.....I have been persistent, I have made so much effort to meet people in both my stay at home and work life. Dinner parties, lunch dates, play dates, outings, coffee at home, you name it, I've done it. I have opened myself up to every opportunity.

I haven't given up exactly but I do now accept that the people I can really talk to all live in another country and that my life here is basically one of loneliness and, as you said, 'trivial chats'. I pretend always that I am busy and happy but the reality is that I am always longing for the close warts and all friendships that I used to be able to make with ease....

It's not that I don't appreciate my mum acquaintances but I want someone to phone me because they want to talk to me, not just to arrange a playdate with our DC's.

My poor DH finds this hard to understand, the emotional need for female friendships - he is my best friend but he is, you know, a boy!

hopeandpray Wed 29-Oct-08 14:14:37

...I've given up too. Realised that when I stopped organising the easter egg hunts, dinners, reading group, play dates and tea parties no on called. Felt quite bitter for a while and angry that they didn't give a sod. Complex I think, haven't made the same choices over schools as some and others going through stress continually and some miserable misanthropes and others too busy working or too popular; part of networks associated with partners jobs. My partner's network is elsewhere. Do find it hard and so am on here!

reikimarie Thu 30-Oct-08 16:06:53

In my opinion it is to do with where you live. For example I used to live in London, now I live in the midlands, people live very stable lives here known friends/family for donkeys years so they are not looking for friends. So I just look on websites to make friends, I have found a nice friend through netmums (only one mind, despite making quite a big effort with several others!) and then another friend is in the offing through midsummerseve website. Actually I have been here since only spring, it takes ages to re-establish and make new friends.

I think the best thing is to make friends through mutual interests too e.g. later once my son goes to school I would like to go on the PTA and I also go to astrology talks sometimes. It is more likely to meet people through shared interests sometimes I think than toddler groups etc. which all have their cliques, although you can meet some lovely people it is hard to break in so to speak.

So I would suggest websites like I have tried as well as shared interests and take it from there! Sometimes the fact we have children does not mean we will connect marvelllously well to all mums out there!

HTH.

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