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I had a row with my husband well over an hour and a half ago, and he's not answering his phone

(25 Posts)
Fretting Thu 16-Oct-08 00:17:14

I've changed my name because i'm very embarressed about this, and extremely upset. This is totally out of character for him to just walk out, and i've got no clue what to do now. I've called his phone so many bloody times and it's just ringing then going straight to voicemail. Think i just need to talk to anyone right now tbh.

saffiw Thu 16-Oct-08 00:23:26

Don't ring him anymore, send him text saying sorry (or whatever) and that you are going to bed know and you will see him tomorrow. It will be fine.

Ebb Thu 16-Oct-08 00:24:49

Oh poor you. Hopefully he's just taken some time out to cool off and calm down. I would be worried too but I'm sure he'll be back soon. Could he just be 'punishing' you by not answering the phone? Sending a hug and hope Dh returns soon.

BetteNoire Thu 16-Oct-08 00:26:29

Agree, no more phoning.
One text, then leave it.
Let him stew in his own anger for a while.
I'm sure he'll be back soon, when he's walked off his bad mood.

Fretting Thu 16-Oct-08 00:29:09

This isn't something either of us can say sorry for, neither of us is in the best emotional state, but this action of his is so out of character. I've already texted him asking him where he is because im worried, and even left a message with a relative just in case he goes there. Good god he is being such a thoughtless prat sad

Ebb Thu 16-Oct-08 00:33:37

If neither of you are able to say sorry then maybe some time apart is a good thing? Have a bath/drink/chocolate or go to bed and try and calm down. I'm sure he's fine and will be back soon.

ghosty Thu 16-Oct-08 00:38:36

I had a row with my husband at the weekend and stormed out of the house (I was going out anyway but I stormed out rather than went out). I then sent about 6 awful texts to him threatening to never come home etc etc. And he didn't reply. I was beside myself.
Later on that day he phoned to ask what time DS needed to go somewhere. I was very clipped and said, "Are you ignoring my texts?" and he said, "Were you texting me? Sorry I was playing on the Wii with DS all afternoon"
And he was genuinely not bothered hmm. He had taken my 'storming' out as a bit of tantrum (which it was) and forgot all about it, assuming I would come home later as planned.
could it be that your DH has just got distracted (like mine) and maybe doesn't realise you are worried?
<<trying to reassure>>

Fretting Thu 16-Oct-08 00:38:50

It's not that we won't say sorry, it's that our row was about the thing we can't be sorry about to eachother because it was none of our fault. God, sorry i'm trying to explain without saying anything iukwim.
If he's not home by 1 i'm going to have to get in the car and go look for him

Fretting Thu 16-Oct-08 00:41:31

I don't know where he would go to to be distracted. Nothing's open round here this time of night, so he's obviously walking somewhere leaving me worried sick!

ghosty Thu 16-Oct-08 00:45:09

Oh, that is a worry. He is being thoughtless. Causing worry for someone is very unfair.
Don't leave the children at home alone though to go and look for him [concerned]

Fretting Thu 16-Oct-08 00:48:25

There are no children here now. That was the rowsad

Candlewax Thu 16-Oct-08 00:48:43

He will come home don't you worry. He needs time to be on his own and he needs time to spite you. If you don't bite anymore you will take the wind out of his sails.

He feels hurt and so do you.

Tomorrow is another day.

ghosty Thu 16-Oct-08 00:49:56

Oh sad ...
I am sorry - I hope you are ok

ghosty Thu 16-Oct-08 00:50:39

Good advice by candlewax

Fretting Thu 16-Oct-08 00:58:03

He will come home, and in the meantime i'm sat here worried sick whilst he is out there somewhere doing i don't know what. I don't even know if he's got any money on him.

Pan Thu 16-Oct-08 01:07:51

candlewax is right. Try v. hard t ostop fretting. He is an adult, and will wish some space. He is a bloke. We do these things when feeling overwhelmed by emotion, as your dh sounds like he is.
Stay cool, and DONT go out looking for him. If you do find him he will feel adversly about it, no doubt. Watch crap tv or clean the fridge. He will return under his own steam.

SylvieSprings Thu 16-Oct-08 01:13:43

He is not a child. It is not safe for you to be out looking for him at this uncivilised hour. Try to get some rest. Allow him time to chill out as well.

As sure as there is a sunrise, tomorrow is another new day. A new beginning.

Having rested, views may appear different tomorrow.

Have faith. xx

Fretting Thu 16-Oct-08 01:16:54

So i don't go looking for him then because it will upset his pride? What about me, and how this is making me feel, and when do i start to panic? How long do i leave it, when he's never walked out before! He's being such a thoughtless wanker, and so obviously gives not a toss about what his actions are doing to me.
I'm tempted to get in the car and go stay at mums tonight, only then that would drag them in the middle of this mess.

Pan Thu 16-Oct-08 01:47:56

No. Don't do anything, but stay cool. Let him stew, for thatis what he will be doing.

gallusbesom Thu 16-Oct-08 07:44:44

How are you this morning Fretting? Hope he came home suitably calm and shame faced for worrying you.

Fretting Thu 16-Oct-08 10:40:53

I didn't do anything and he came home about 2am this morning, the stupid idiot had to be up for work at 6, so he was like a bear with a sore head this morning. I ignored his grumblings tbh, and hopefully we can talk properly about it tonight.

Ebb Thu 16-Oct-08 10:42:48

Glad he came home okay. Hope you get things sorted. Best wishes.

Fretting Thu 16-Oct-08 11:07:26

He was cold and wet when he got home, because in his wisdom he thought sitting down the beach was a good idea. But i was still so mad with him i just left him to it!

Ebb Thu 16-Oct-08 11:13:12

Good idea! Why do men stomp off and sulk so?! Mind you if I was in a strop I'd probably head for the beach (if I lived near onegrin) to clear my head.

Fretting Thu 16-Oct-08 11:46:55

Ebb, i really don't know.
It's the first time he's done that, and he better not do it again. It was very unfair to leave me panic stricken at that time of night.

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