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Are you still madly in love with your DH/DP?

(177 Posts)
sad36 Sun 06-Mar-05 10:03:49

...or do you just love them dearly? DO you think it is normal to lose those heady rushy feelings and just feel happy, comfortable, settled, or is that not enough in a relationship?

Moomin Sun 06-Mar-05 10:10:06

if i still had all the feelings for dh that i had when i first met him i'd have to be permanently attached to a monitor. it sent me mad - i couldn't breathe or eat or anything! so i'm glad this has gone, but my stomach still flips when he walks in and i could cry when i think about him (in a nice way!). deffo feel comfortable too but i'd say it's a mix of the two feelings you described.

Lonelymum Sun 06-Mar-05 10:11:33

No not madly in love anymore, but comfortable together. I don't believe that mad feeling you get when you first fall in love is really sustainable but I expect someone will come on after me and tell me I am wrong.

Moomin Sun 06-Mar-05 10:12:29

but i should add, he's dh number 2. with dh1 i loved him dearly, like you said, but the passion was gone. however, if he hadn't ended it, i would have gladly put up with that, because i was happy overall. i'm just glad i've been given another chance and it's worked out so well. how about you sad36? is your name a clue?

suzywong Sun 06-Mar-05 10:15:12

the feelings of being in love, the first mad rush, the being unable to think about anything else are all chemical changes in the brain and cannot last, they just can't

I wasn't that madly in love with dh when we got together 13 years ago, then it got a bit stronger then we were definitely not in love for a period and now I am passionately but not madly in love with him again when we have breathing space from being busy parents.

Amberlilli Sun 06-Mar-05 10:31:43

I have known my dh2 for 17 years our relationship was on/off with big gaps(4/5 years) in between. I was never madly in love with my first husband, but i do remember being madly in love with dh2 at the beginning of every period we were together.
We married last year and every now and again I feel a huge surge of love for him when I realise how lucky I am and how easily i could have lost him to someone else.
The first heady feelings are more 'lust' than 'love' and more often than not this feeling fades with time.
I would hate to think that I'll never experience that heady rush of sensations again.
Any ideas anyone?

WideWebWitch Sun 06-Mar-05 10:38:45

Yes, I'm still madly in love with dp but we've only been together 5 years so I'm aware that it's early days really. Of course the heady stuff dies down a bit but if there was passion there in the first place you can get it back I think if the circumstances are right. Ikwym moomin, the first year I was with dp my stomach would flip every time I saw him and I'd get butterflies and we'd stay up all night, ooh, I don't know how we did it actually! Now we are happy, comfortable, settled but still passionate about each other and still in love, definitely.

lockets Sun 06-Mar-05 10:40:05

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noddyholder Sun 06-Mar-05 11:15:36

yes still the same after 13 years together

Beetroot Sun 06-Mar-05 11:16:27

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Beetroot Sun 06-Mar-05 11:17:15

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anorak Sun 06-Mar-05 11:22:15

Yes after 7 years together, married for 5. The longer time goes on the more my dh shows me what an unusually wonderful person he is.

Our marriage hasn't been perfect but when we have a problem it isn't a chore to remember my vows and work at it because I'm always aware that although my dh is only human he's the best human I've ever known and he never stops doing his best. I adore him.

I can't imagine I could ever meet another man who could be better than my dh, but if I did, my dh would win hands down because we have history.

Nemo1977 Sun 06-Mar-05 12:09:58

like to think im stil madly in love although we do argue but its a safe petty argue iykwim. we have been together 9 yrs and married for 4 this year still makes my tummy flip sometimes..lol

Amanda3266 Sun 06-Mar-05 12:11:25

I love my DH deeply. We may not get as much time/opportunity to indulge in the bedroom but 5 years of marriage have shown me how wonderful he truly is.

Prufrock Sun 06-Mar-05 19:35:36

Yes although not every day. We don't do all night sex anymore or course, and I don't usually walk around with a huge grin on my face as I remeber doing after we had just met, but there are still times when he makes my tummy flip.

biglips Sun 06-Mar-05 19:52:35

yes he still makes my heart flip -especially when he is all done up to the nines to go out for a nightout (cccccccccoooooooooorrrrrrrrrr!) ive ben with my DP for 4 yrs and 3 months.

biglips Sun 06-Mar-05 19:53:41

and yeas im still madly in luv with him as i wouldnt change him for anyone as hes simply the best (puke!)

Mud Sun 06-Mar-05 20:29:59

happy, comfortable, settled

they all sound pretty good to me

occasionally sexy, very much cared for

TBH our relationship didn't start off madly it started off comfortable and got better and better

I think its wrong to hanker after that first flush of madness, it is not a lasting feeling

sobernow Sun 06-Mar-05 20:35:28

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sasa15 Sun 06-Mar-05 20:44:32

for me is up AND down....sometimes i LOVE HIM...sometimes I HATE HIM....

We have been together 6 years and 1 year married...

there is still passion I think....specially when we fight...

when I think about him or when he sleeps sometimes I think...he's very sweet....

when we are drunk or out of it...we love each other more....

ks Sun 06-Mar-05 20:47:28

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sasa15 Sun 06-Mar-05 20:49:13

ciao ks,

nice to hear that you are happy!!!!

kama Sun 06-Mar-05 20:49:33

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kama Sun 06-Mar-05 20:50:02

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Hulababy Sun 06-Mar-05 20:53:33

Yes and love DH and I am still deepily "in love" with him. Been with DH since we were 16 - 15 years ago. Been married 8 years this summer. We are best friends and do loads together, and as a family.

We are happy, settled comfortable - but there is till passion, fun and joy of spending time together, especially when we get a night off together on our own, etc. It's lovely

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