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Why Am I Never Included?

(39 Posts)
LeQueen Wed 15-Oct-08 20:07:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lulumama Wed 15-Oct-08 20:10:46

i have the exact same thing with my DH

if he is invited to a corporate do , it is appropriate to take a business colleague ,no? 99 % of the things DH goes to are all about networking and building relationships and all things business. frankly, i think i would be bored to tears!

get a baby sitter and go out with your own friends, far better than sitting at home, feeling upset!!

maybe some wives go, maybe most don;t

why is it so important to you to go?

make sure though that you do get time to go out together as a couple

LeQueen Wed 15-Oct-08 20:16:11

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lulumama Wed 15-Oct-08 20:38:07

so it is clearly not about 'showing off' your wife or spouse is it? it is a corporate shindig and even if you are fed up with your colleague, you go with them!

why not go out with his partner;s wife.

KerryMumchingOnEyeballs Wed 15-Oct-08 20:40:23

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captainofthemummies Wed 15-Oct-08 20:46:15

Well in 17 years I have never had to buy a little black dress!

Go out with your mates instead - you'll have a muchbetter time.

LeQueen Wed 15-Oct-08 20:47:28

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lulumama Wed 15-Oct-08 20:50:01

DH goes to a lot of the same sort of things

i can sit at home in my PJs, drinking wine, eating tortilla chips, rather than wearing my best dress and uncomfortable shoes, making small talk with people i don;t know !!

keeping work and home seperate is not a bad thing

LeQueen Wed 15-Oct-08 20:52:04

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lulumama Wed 15-Oct-08 21:00:03

why do you want to go so much?

talk to your DH rationally and calmly, get the reassurance you need

make a time for the two of you to go out as a couple and spend quality time rather than the false atmoshphere of a do

BetteNoire Wed 15-Oct-08 21:03:19

Business socialising is sooooo boring.
I'd rather go out with my friends.
Or DH, at a push. wink

Elasticwoman Wed 15-Oct-08 21:08:51

Perhaps because you don't get on with the business colleague's wife, they have agreed to take neither wife along.

KerryMumchingOnEyeballs Wed 15-Oct-08 21:27:32

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QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow Wed 15-Oct-08 21:36:15

Do you want to be just armcandy? He most likely does not need that. It might seem fun to you, but it most likely isnt to him, and therein lies the difference. If you think beauty is an asset at a corporate event, I am not surprised you are left at home.

I have a friend that has to come to nearly all corporate events, she is a lawyer by profession, but is now playing the part of the corporate wife. She has to spend a fortune on clothes, hair dressers, the gym, and a lot of time spent on enhancing her culinary skills even further. Hand in hand with being at her husbands side, is that she will have to drop everything she is doing at moments notice, quick get in one of her many baby sitters, rush into a new and never seen before dress, rush her make up on and be out. OR, as is often expected when the wife gets involved, have to entertain at home at moments notice and get in an impressive menu, cook, get a babysitter to come and deal with the kids while she gets everything ready. I dont envy her for one moment.

totalmisfit Wed 15-Oct-08 21:37:06

'wives don't get invited' Hooray! My time machine works - it's 1952 again!

seriously - what kind of business is he in if that's their policy? it all sounds a bit Tony/Carmela Soprano to me. Don't put up with it.

ReallyReally Wed 15-Oct-08 21:40:32

if I go out with dh though to work things I am bored out of my tiny mind. It's not a nice night out, it's him, networking, talking to people, and they are all very boring

it is not like being Posh Spice at all

LeQueen Wed 15-Oct-08 21:49:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zazen Wed 15-Oct-08 21:51:43

It's rather obvious to me the reason you don't get to go is that you and his partner's wife don't get on.
They want their business to work, so neither invite you two wives.
Simple really.
Sometimes business partnerships are more important to maintain as business relationships: social events are different.

That's good that you and your Dh go out together- if you didn't I'd be worried. But it all sounds like those two have decided that for the peace and the prosperity that brings, neither of you wives go to business events.

I think you'll have to get over this and move on. Unless you think your DH should be in another business.
And indeed unless you think he's having a fling with his business partner.

2manychips Wed 15-Oct-08 21:52:03

I know this feeling v v well.My dh has actually asked me not to go to "do's" because "I cant be myself if I have to worry about you being entertained all eve."

TheCrackFox Wed 15-Oct-08 21:53:23

I am in the same situation. Pisses me off sometimes - I look nice, good laugh, blah, blah, but always get left behind!

Last month he went to a big dinner thing hosted by a champagne company. He doesn't even like champagne?!

TBH I don't mind as DH is a chef and everyone just wants to drone on about that. If I go out with DH on our own we try not to talk about food/ DCs.

The upside of this is that I get to go out a lot with friends as I guilt DH into looking after DCs.

LeQueen Wed 15-Oct-08 21:55:10

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LeQueen Wed 15-Oct-08 21:58:24

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LeQueen Wed 15-Oct-08 22:00:32

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LeQueen Wed 15-Oct-08 22:03:27

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therealsupergirl Wed 15-Oct-08 22:40:56

It sounds to me that your DH is a really nice boss smile who gives his staff the opportunity to take part in social events and network as well as toil in the office all day! I used to work with someone who got invited to a client's fancy-dan-celeb party every year, and rather than take his wife he took whichever junior assistant had been working with him. Spect his wife was peeved but really it was much more appropriate for him to take a colleague who had put the work in.

From what you say it sounds like you don't actually want to spend time at these things anyway! Be careful what you wish for wink

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