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if i were to leave

(43 Posts)
VivaLasVegas Tue 14-Oct-08 14:31:45

I'm just looking for some advice.

If I were to leave my husband. Where would I go?

I have no money, do you work, have a young child. How do I find somewhere to live and could my child be taken away if I don't have a job?

I have been single on benefits before but it was so long ago that I know it has all changed.

VivaLasVegas Tue 14-Oct-08 14:32:00

sorry that should say I do not work.

ggglimpopo Tue 14-Oct-08 14:35:06

Go to CAB and find out where you stand.

NotDoingTheHousework Tue 14-Oct-08 14:41:38

Message withdrawn

SmugColditz Tue 14-Oct-08 14:41:55

What? No, sweetheart, your child cannot be taken away if you don't have a job, you claim income support. Until last week I didn't have a job and had been raising two children for 18 months. SS will take your child away if you are SERIOUSLY ABUSING her, not for being poor.

By the sound of your husband you need to ring womensaid - DON'T think you don't meet the criteria, you do. I know you do.

NotDoingTheHousework Tue 14-Oct-08 14:50:09

Message withdrawn

VinegARGHHHTits Tue 14-Oct-08 14:52:32

I dont have a lot of advice for you, but i do know you will not loose your dd for not having a job.

Have posted a link to here from the other thread, i am sure you will get lots of advice and support from those more experience than me.

nooOOOoonki Tue 14-Oct-08 14:53:26

Ring up your council, and ask to see their homeless division, they will interview you and if they can assist you.

You need to be:

1. In priority need (IE - have child),
2. homeless (which you will be as having read other thread you can present for relationship breakdown, and possibly domestic violence) (violence can be mental as well as physical and be against any of your party)y
3. entitled to public money (if you get free NHS treatment you will be OK, generally speaking)
4. Not intentionally homeless (your not)

You should then be offered temporary accommodation (could be a hostel/b&B) you then may get a council tenancy/help with deposit to get a rented property/Housing Association.


If you need to leave immediately you can just go, take your Child benefit letters, ID (as much as you can get),clothes, favourite toys. If you are scared for you safety, grab what you can (ID most important) and the council should arrange for you to go back with a police escort to get your clothes etc

in most area's there is a 24 hour service.

If your other thread is genuine then please do go, it will be hard at first but then so much better for all of your lives x

luckylady74 Tue 14-Oct-08 15:01:19

Well done - this is a first step.

Dropdeadfred Tue 14-Oct-08 15:02:42

your whole life could start afresh from the day you put the whels in motion...

Good Luck and do come back and ask for advice if you need it

let us know how you get on

nooOOOoonki Tue 14-Oct-08 15:06:53

You will also be able to get benefits, and a crisis loan to tide you over,

Notdoingthehousework mentioned women's Aid, they are good and have a network all over the country,

their phone number is: 0808 2000 247

website: here

good luck and ask if you are confused about anything

Tortington Tue 14-Oct-08 15:10:34

first of all lets discuss housing
mortgage or renting?

in whose name?

we need to sort this out - as you mighn't need to go anywhere.

as well as advice ont his thread that would give you an indication you need to go to the CAB

if you cat me - or are willing to post your nearest big town - i can post some details of likley agencies to help

you should also start looking for a solicitor that gives a free initial session.

your child wont be taken away - sorry - but think about the dire circumstances some women are in or let their children continue in - as long as your children are healthy fed and housed its not v. fkin likley!

Tortington Tue 14-Oct-08 15:12:50

shelter have legal people who can help you with regards to housing options.

you might be able to stay in the family home.

Tortington Tue 14-Oct-08 15:13:17


Tortington Tue 14-Oct-08 15:14:35

direct gov housing some useful links on the left

umberella Tue 14-Oct-08 15:22:12

well done vlv. you are getting good advice here. don't wait for this vile bully to start on dd2.

EachPeachPearMum Tue 14-Oct-08 15:25:24

VLV- have just posted on your other thread- re EMA for your elder DD. GL

mumoverseas Tue 14-Oct-08 16:01:43

Not sure of the background to this (appears to be more info on another thread but haven't found it) Please however be careful about leaving your home as sometimes the council can be extremely unhelpful with rehousing and if they think you have made yourself intentionally homeless they will refuse to rehouse you, even if you have a child. If however there is domestic violence, obviously this will be different. The problem is however if you have no choice but to leave, you should get rehoused but it may be very basic, temporary accomodation, ie a B & B. If you and your husband own a property then you should consider trying to stay there and get him out. If there has been domestic violence, or even threats with no violence, then potentially you could obtain a non-molestation Order/Occupation Order from the County Court which if granted is essentially an Order (like an injunction) ordering him to leave the house. As you are not working you should be eligble for public funding (legal aid) so go and make an appointment asap with a family law solicitor that does legal aid.
It may also be worth making enquiries at your local police station (anonymously if you prefer) as many large police stations have domestic violence officers and often attend a domestic violence forum. where I used to live they had them on a regular basis in a central location in the town and they used to have a representative from the police, a family solicitor and a health visitor who would all give free advice. Good luck

LittleWeePickle Thu 16-Oct-08 00:40:43

If you want to leave to go to a private rented flat you can get DSS to stump up the rent and deposit in advance - you'd need to check this tho.

Good luck x x x x


LittleWeePickle Thu 16-Oct-08 11:47:46

If you go to a private flat, get a 1 bed flat - with 2 kids you'll get preferential treatment when you apply for a council or housing association property. smile

Liffey Thu 16-Oct-08 11:50:36

Viva,,,,,,,, I can complete your sentence for you.

If I were to leave...... I would be happier".

Leaving was hard, for emotional, practical and financial reasons, but best thing I ever didI did what you did and I've had a few financial crises!! but we're all ok and happier.

SpandexIsMyEnemy Thu 16-Oct-08 11:52:29

little wee - you can't that's tosh.

in this area. My parents had to stump up the money, over £1500, I got HB from the day I moved in but they won't help with the deposit (as you get it back)

oh and no your DC wouldn't be taken away from you, unless you were a complete drug addict and the situation was very dair - but a run of the course single mum - no they wouldn't.

re the housing situation, it vary's from area to area, but even as a lone parent in unsecured accommodation I've been on the list so far for over a year and they think another year.

I would be v v weary about taking a home which is smaller than your needs - as they'd see it as you're making yourself intentionally in that position.

ginnny Thu 16-Oct-08 13:25:40

Actually Spandex, its not tosh.

When I left exP the council arranged the deposit on my flat for me. Down here it is called the Deposit Guarantee scheme. I don't know if they do that everywhere but its worth asking about.

Good luck VLV!

ginnny Thu 16-Oct-08 13:31:52

this might help

SpandexIsMyEnemy Thu 16-Oct-08 15:19:09

well not in this area they don't - I looked into it with my council and my cousin did with her's which is the next council over to mine.

we were both told our parents would have to provide it for us.

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