Hi girls,
Not sure this topic belongs in this list but I have recently found out something that bothers me a lot and I'm not sure how I should see this.
One of my very best, oldest girlfriends, who always has been very reasonable, very traditional has told me something about her life.
Just a bit of background: she has married her first man at 21 and has been married to him for 10 years. They are reasonably happy ( comfortable), but as far as I understand the sex life has never been enjoyable for her with him, it happens very rarely and has never been good for her IYKWIM( well she didn't do any better as he was her first).
The husband is a good man, very quiet and kind with very few friends and his wife is basically his only best friend. The husband thinks all is fine, although she discussed this subject with him many times. As the marriage progressed she did have a couple of lovers as she was frustrated with the whole sex situation. That's how she found out what proper sex is.
Eventually she met another man, the opposite of her husband - very much a centre of attention with hundreds of friends, with whom she end up having a long affair ( about a year - her husband goes away very ofthen). The man knew that she was married, but she told him they were in the process to get separated. She never thought of her lover as a partner material, as he was quite popular with ladies and also does not have a job ( he lives of his sports hobby which is his business with very low income and some odd jobs here and there). So she saw him more as a toy boy. But at some point she realised that she was pregant from the toy boy. ( The lover actually seemes to have fallend in love with her and wanted her to get a divorce and be with him all the time and wanted to have children with her when they could afford to have them).
She has recently lost her job, so now fully depends on her husband. In 10 years she was never pregnant from her husband and even thought that she or he was infertile. She asked the husband to get checked several times, but he refused, saying that he doesn't want to be treated like a sperm donor. Other than no children and bad sex she thinks that her husband is a good companion. So she didn't tell the lover that she was pregnant, but told her husband and he belives it's his. She says she knows that her husband would still stay with her if he knew, but would only be hurt unnecessarily if he knew everything, and this might be the only whay that they as a couple would have a child, as the husband would never get checked or do anything special like IVF for it.
She decided that she can choose who the father of her child will be and is choosing to stay with her husband. She broke up with the lover, who is completely heart broken, but will get over it as he seems to be quite popular.
Sorry for such a long info - what do you think - does a woman have the right to choose the father for her child?
I don't want to judge her, I actually could not understand how she managed living for 10 years in this closed marriage, she does come from a very traditional upbringing, but I think they may a good chance to live happily ever after ( well if you forget about sex and possibly future children).
X
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Relationships
Woman's right to choose the father for her child - what do you think ? - LONG story
waitingandwaiting · 14/10/2008 13:23
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