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opinions please: are we being selfish to go off on holiday over Christmas?

(6 Posts)
Gemzooks Tue 14-Oct-08 11:00:41

I am an only child and 32. Spent every Christmas with my mum since I was little. My dad died last year (they were divorced but still good friends).

DH's mum is in the middle of a divorce and it is not clear what her Christmas plans are.

Both mums would probably want to spend Christmas with us, although DH's mum has 2 other kids she could potentially spend it with.

DH and I are expecting DC number 2 in March, and also celebrating 10 years together. We figure it will be a while before we can go away again, and haven't been on hol since Easter 2007. So we thought of just going away together with DS1 over Christmas for a holiday instead of the usual trailing back to the UK to get cold! (we live abroad).

The only alternative is that we have BOTH mums to stay with us (small flat), but they don't get on that well, or we hire a holiday villa and invite them to it.

Is it selfish to just go away for once or should we be dutiful? any opinions welcome!

We live in Euro

potoftea Tue 14-Oct-08 11:06:28

It sounds like everyone isn't going to be pleased no matter what you do. They both want you but don't really get on, so not the happiest Christmas atmosphere!

I don't think you are bing selfish because neither of them are ill or in need of care. And you have your own family to put first now, and should do what's best for you 3 (or 3 and a half now!).

If you decide to put your holiday off and spend Christmas how they would like, well what happens next year, or the following year? Are you always going to spend Christmas how they want and not how your own family want?

I'm sure others will disagree with me, I'm probably very selfish wink

jesuswhatnext Tue 14-Oct-08 11:17:08

as the mum of an only child i have to say this - you are NOT responsible for your mother, you DONT have to spend every christmas with her till the end of time.

i actually get quite cross about this sort of thing, a child should not feel guilty for wanting to something away from its parents - go on holiday, have a lovley time, make your own little xmas traditions with your husband and children.

if your mum goes into a strop, ignore it - to expect to spend every xmas with you would be selfish on her part.

OzJo Tue 14-Oct-08 11:18:18

As long as you can go and not fret that you should have done this/that/the other......Really relax and enjoy the last chance of a bit of r&r before you start all over again with no2. Sod it, you can't please them all...

cmotdibbler Tue 14-Oct-08 11:20:19

Have a lovely holiday ! You aren't responsible for your parents Christmas plans, and you can't take the children away from their own home every year.

kingprawntikka Tue 14-Oct-08 11:38:30

Definately not selfish ... go enjoy your holiday !!

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