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i am avoiding going to bed because i am so angry with my partner.

(11 Posts)
NewspiritsFromOldghosts Sun 12-Oct-08 23:14:35

He has always been reckless naeive with money matters. And can be a self centred twat person often sometimes.

In the summer he decided we would go on a foreign holiday, until i pointed out that
a; he had just started a new job and
b; had not saved any money at all and was skint before the end of each month.

Sooo, he then decided on a sunny holiday in october half term.
I have been setting aside a little money each month, i had just over £700 altogether. Unfortunately i had to sack the last childminder, found a lovely new one who is fab but holiday childcare cost £744 in August as had already paid the previous childminder in advance and then had to pay new one in advance.
Sept childcare was £528, october will be around £450 and then after that it will even out at around £350 ish each month which is more than do able.

Are you with me so far? grin

So, i had to use some of my savings to pay the childcare costs, partner has never contributed to the childcare. Dd is my child from a previous relationship, we have been together since she was three.

He had saved up nothing, then last month he got a tax rebate and set aside £500.

We have been looking at holidays on the net etc, we could get a week away for around £900 for the 4 of us.
However, i now only have £320 in my savings.
Also, I need a new passport as does dd.
Also, i know for a fact that he will spend stupid amounts on a fecking holiday that we can't really afford, especially when he is likely to be sacked from his job tomorrow.
I will then be expected to cover all the monthly bills etc whilst he whinges about being skint for the rest of the month.

Tonight i cooked us lamb shanks and lots of lovely sides. Spent hrs cooking so that once the kids had gone to bed we could sit down and have a nice meal together and talk properly as we have not really been getting on well lately. Mostly because i am so cross that i am being bullied into going on an expensive trip abroad just before christmas that he has not prepared for at all.

He got the hump because he found a holiday on the net that he wanted me to give him £379 for tomorrow. I haven't physically got that in my account. He knows this. We have talked about this a few times this week.
He then decided that i am a cow and he ate his meal in silence on his own in the kitchen and then spent the rest of the night in there until he emerged an hour ago to tell me he's off to bed.

I feel like shoving a fecking lamb shank up his arse quite frankly. He will now give me the silent treatment for a couple of days before telling me that i have mental issues and make everyones life a misery.

I don't. It is him that makes everyone walk on eggshells. He is either pissed or just plain stroppy. He phones me at least once a day to rant about his job, never asks about mine. Not really interested in anything that i do.

I am royally fed up. angry
Not alot anyone can say. I think we need to call time really. Too many things are wrong.

WinkyWinkola Sun 12-Oct-08 23:33:24

Ohnewspirits, you must feel really down about this. It's like a communication impasse when people have such different views about money.

Over this particular holiday issue, it's clear you can't afford to go when your partner wants to go. Can you present a plan to go at a later date when you've both got the money available?

The silent treatment is cruel especially at bedtime.

chocolatelady Sun 12-Oct-08 23:39:41

Hi think your hols need tp wait. Have you tried camping in france.. Not so expensive and good fun for the kids. But in the winter might be not so night as it gets cold! Look at key camp holidays. they are good!

Tortington Sun 12-Oct-08 23:44:25

what a super cock.

life sounds so nice with him

jasper Sun 12-Oct-08 23:46:27

Your last paragraph says it all.

take the plunge!

NewspiritsFromOldghosts Mon 13-Oct-08 08:20:41

grin at custardo. So brutal but yet so true.

Thank you ladies, yes i know i have to take the plunge and will do as soon as i have a deposit and months rent in advance saved up.So about 6 months in reality.

As an aside i have suggested we go on holiday at christmas as we both have a two week shutdown then but he is refusing point blank.

unavailable Mon 13-Oct-08 08:34:25

How old is this man? He cant be anything but a self absorbed teenager from the way you describe him. Dont book a holiday over Xmas - save up what you need and leave him.

NewspiritsFromOldghosts Mon 13-Oct-08 08:40:33

He's 37. I'm 31. It's embarassing.

unavailable Mon 13-Oct-08 08:47:24

Soofr, but I think if he behaves like this at 37, he wont change now

unavailable Mon 13-Oct-08 08:48:22

That should read Sorry, obviously!

NewspiritsFromOldghosts Mon 13-Oct-08 08:50:46

No, you're right. there is no changing him. It's been wrong for a long time. I'm so fed up of his stroppiness and general teeenager like behaviour.
Everytime we go out without the kids he has a row with someone. It always ends up being my fault.
He is always skint, he lies about his credit card balance. A debt collector phoned for him on saturday, i have no idea what that one is all about.
Basically, he is an arse.

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