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would you tell DH, or keep stum!!

(15 Posts)
lisad123 Sun 12-Oct-08 21:03:26

And no im not having an affair.
A short version of the story is my PIL are a little odd to say the least! shorty after me and DH got together, they moved to wales which is 5 hours away.
They took 2 months to come and see DD1, their first GD and always moaned DH didnt call enough, we didnt go and see them enough! trying to do that trip with a LO was horrible.
Anyways a few years back i went back to my religion and dh came too. His parent had a real issue but it got really nasty just after having DD2 (who they have NEVER seen) and they told us they didnt want anythign to do with us.
The final straw for me was that they sent back our wedding photos and the DD'S photos shock !!!

well i got a nasty text from MIL yesterday saying how can he forget his family so easily!! He really had a rough time when they disowned us, but do i tell him about the text???!!

Well done if you got this far


Dioriffic Sun 12-Oct-08 21:11:15

Message withdrawn

lisad123 Sun 12-Oct-08 21:13:14

but i realy dont know if he it will push him back, he was really upset last tme, understandably

Hassled Sun 12-Oct-08 21:16:09

If it were all reversed, if it were your parents who were weird and had texted him, would you want to know about it?

feelingbitter Sun 12-Oct-08 21:18:33

Tell him
She's in the wrong.
Blaming him for 'forgetting his family so easily' when she disowned him! Sounds like a manipulative cow to me.
Not telling him, you risk it coming out in the future (sounds like she wouldn't hesitate to mention it) and may result in DH thinking less of you, and she'll have won by coming between you.
If its nasty, she hasn't changed and your all best shot of her.
You're his family now, stick together.

mumhadenough Sun 12-Oct-08 21:21:32

Yeah I agree you have to tell him. She'd bring it up in the future and turn it back on you, don't give her the opportunity!

madrose Sun 12-Oct-08 21:21:44

it sounds like they are looking for a reaction, they maybe hoping that DH begs them to reconsider?

lisad123 Sun 12-Oct-08 21:21:52

its so silly though, she texts my phone as DH changed his number because of her, but i refused as my family know mine

LynetteScavo Sun 12-Oct-08 21:24:28

I would let him know, as I don't like keeping things to my self. He can decide what he wan't to make of it.

I was wondering what your religion is, if you don't mind saying.

lisad123 Sun 12-Oct-08 21:29:16

i will tell him then i really dont want to, but hate sercrets, we dont have them.
No not worried at all, im a jehovahs witness. The ILs are very money focused and guess another issue was the lack of presnts at christmas and bdays.

Elasticwoman Sun 12-Oct-08 22:02:10

I say don't tell him. Tell MIL that you refuse to act as a go-between and if she wants to communicate with him, she can do so directly.

Ask MIL what makes her think she should choose what religion her adult son should follow.

If you make it clear that they are welcome to visit you and the gc, and keep in touch with them by whatever means you prefer, then it will be the pils who are disowning you and not the other way round.

However, as the proud owner of an award for giving blood to the NHS, I take a dim view of the JW beliefs on the medical use of blood.

lisad123 Sun 12-Oct-08 22:45:11

thanks elasticwoman, might think about that. Its hard as my PIL are very hard work and cause laods of trouble. That was one of the reasons we ending up running away and getting married with noone there wink

I understand about the blood issue, it comes up a lot and can understand why people worrying about it, I know I used to.

NotAnOtter Sun 12-Oct-08 22:48:45

lisa i wouldnt

i might text mil and say talk to dh not you...but i would not want contact

i dont do that blood thing

i love people who are lovable i do not love tossers with the same blood line

clam Sun 12-Oct-08 22:52:27

I would tell him. He's a grown up. He can decide what, if anything, he wants to do about it.

NotAnOtter Sun 12-Oct-08 22:57:20

second thoughts

i would tell him

still think it is not her place to contact you - cowardly to text out of blue

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