Have changed name for this as am regular poster and just can't deal with all the ins and outs of my domestic situation over the last few months. Suffice to say, thinbgs have got worse, not better, but for some reason dh just won't confront things.
Our basic problems are that we don't see eye to eye on anything, from parenting approach, to managing money. We are unable to communicate anything more than the most superficial issues without some barbed comments. DS is 3 and really picks up on the negative atmosphere, and I think it is starting to affect his behaviour. (We also have a baby DD). Despite all that, I am fond of DH, he is the father of my children, and though I no longer love him, my feelings towards him are deep and complex and I don't want to hurt him.
He has been married before (no kids) and would rather gouge his eyes out than go through another divorce.
In the bluntest possible terms, he doesn't want us to spilt because he's afraid I will take the children away from him (I wouldn't), and I have so far done nothing because of the financial implications. Most of the time, drifting along like this is a lot easier than actually forcing a decision.
BUT, it was my birthday recently and I've felt so depressed since then. I can't cope with the idea that I'll feel this bad - or worse - this time next year. At the same time, I spend and unhealthy amount of time thinking about another man whom I've got to know recently. I know that my feelings for this other guy say more about my feelings about what's gone wrong with dh than anything else. That doesn't stop me thinking about him all the time.
My DH is quite unstable, and also the jealous vindictive type. If I tell him I don't love him any more, and i feel the children are being hurt by our rows, and that as a result I want us to separate, I know his reaction will be malicious and childish. So how can I broach the issue in as "amicable" a way as possible? I can't face any further deterioration in our home life, but at the same time, I think things have got to the point where we just can't carry on like this.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
How do you tell your husband your marriage is over?
marriedbutmiserable · 03/03/2005 20:47
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.