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If your dh diid this how would you react/feel?

(76 Posts)
youropinionwelcomed Wed 08-Oct-08 16:07:17

if he had a thing with a girl at work
texted her
flirteed wiht her
brought her to your house and snogged her on your sofa while you were upstairs
then lied about it for months and said nothing had happened (despite being caught in the loo on the phone to this woman while on holiday claimed that he had not snogged her, that it was only a silly thing, even lied about that and tried to pretend it was someone else he was on the phone to, then you found out nearly a year later that was not true)

Would you think this was an affair?
Would you kick him out?

what would you do?

(name changing regular btw)

Overmydeadbody Wed 08-Oct-08 16:08:13

I wouldn't trust him that's for sure.

Overmydeadbody Wed 08-Oct-08 16:08:53

and I wouldn't rule out the possibility of an affair having happened, or at least an empotional affair.

scorpio1 Wed 08-Oct-08 16:09:21

i would be mad on so many levels...

ggglimpopo Wed 08-Oct-08 16:09:54

Is he still working with her?

expatinscotland Wed 08-Oct-08 16:10:09

i would assume he was lying every time he opened his mouth about it, tbh.

scorpio1 Wed 08-Oct-08 16:10:53

and, is he even telling the whole truth now?

schneebly Wed 08-Oct-08 16:11:36

This is all wrong. I would be livid and I wouldn't trust him one iota.

FioFio Wed 08-Oct-08 16:12:22

Message withdrawn

Dropdeadfred Wed 08-Oct-08 16:13:12

He'd be gone...history

LittleBella Wed 08-Oct-08 16:14:41

I would feel he was a liar and I couldn't trust him. And since relationships which aren't based on contracts, are based on trust, that would make it difficult to continue with it.

youropinionwelcomed Wed 08-Oct-08 16:15:47

he finally admitted it a year later
that he had lied all this time
becuase I knew and threatedned to leave him if he didn't tell the truth

would you feel it was disproportionate to want him to tell you when he sees the girl at work or has anything to do with her? Yes they still work together but not directly

scorpio1 Wed 08-Oct-08 16:16:35

no, i would want to know every time.

Simplysally Wed 08-Oct-08 16:17:08

I'd knock his block off...!

Seriously, he'd be history even if some of it wasn't true. He'd have lost all credibilty with me when he started changing his story so I'd have to assume that it all happened either that or he was deranged to think that this was acceptable.

It's easy to write but personally I'd throw him out.

Hope you sort it.

Cappuccino Wed 08-Oct-08 16:17:20

I would assume he was 16 years old

I snogged a bloke downstairs when my boyfriend was upstairs once

I sure as hell wasn't a grown up

youropinionwelcomed Wed 08-Oct-08 16:18:29

yes capp that had occured to me!

youropinionwelcomed Wed 08-Oct-08 16:18:49

he thinks i am overreacting
and being controlling

scorpio1 Wed 08-Oct-08 16:19:40

i dont think you are

maybe if he hadnt have been a knob then you wouldnt be upset!

youropinionwelcomed Wed 08-Oct-08 16:20:21

I told him that i reckoned a lot of people wouldn't even have given him a second/third etc chance

myredcardigan Wed 08-Oct-08 16:22:02

As Cap says, grabbing a quick snog is what teenagers do.

Adults don't have secret snogs they have secret shags. Sorry but they do.

youropinionwelcomed Wed 08-Oct-08 16:23:15

oh I have no doubt it would have been that if i hadn't busted hime

youropinionwelcomed Wed 08-Oct-08 16:23:45

all the secret texting, hiding and phoning her happened after the snog

myredcardigan Wed 08-Oct-08 16:24:19

By that I mean that no way would I believe that was all that happened. Isn'tthere another thread where the husband tried to say they just cuddled on the bed? hmm Later he admitted he shagged her.

VineGARISHtits Wed 08-Oct-08 16:28:29

I would be having serious doubts as to whether he was the person i thought he was, and would tell him so, i would loose all trust in him and what comes out of his lying mouth, i would tell him i dont think he is the one for me anymore, can he please take his lies and close the door on the way out, goodbye.

Overmydeadbody Wed 08-Oct-08 16:33:09

Yes I'd almost certainly think that more had happened, he's goping to downplay it to you, it is in his interests not to tell you the truth.

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