Assault charges

[changeofname80]

I need some advice.

DH has reported me to the police for assault. What will happen next? Never been in trouble with the police before.

[SecretlyInHiding]

I think that what happens next very much depends on what actually happened. Did you assault him?

[hecAteTheirBrains]

I suppose they'll charge you with assault if they can.

[changeofname80]

Yes I did. In self defence.
If they charge me, what happens then? will I have to go to court?

[mumoverseas]

if it was self defence, then you need to go to the police asap and tell them your side of the story. If they have only heard his allegation of assault, then the chances are they will take it seriously, as they have to. If it is your first offence, chances are they would want to give you a caution first rather than rushing in and taking you to court (although it depends how serious the assult was. Are we talking ABH or GBH?)
If there has been a history of domestic violence (towards you) then you really need to talk to someone and have this documented. Please try not to worry and see if you can get a friend to go to the police station with you. Good luck

[hecAteTheirBrains]

I don't know. Just tell them what happened. Maybe they'll charge him too, if he attacked you and you were defending yourself.

Maybe they'll consider it self-defence and not proceed.

You need Cod or someone, really. She'd know.

I hope you are out of the relationship now, though.

[changeofname80]

I'm not sure how serious it would be considered, I kicked him in the face busting his nose. I have no marks on me so it is going to look one sided.

[mumoverseas]

mmmmm does sound (from his point of view) very one sided. If there has been previous abuse towards you though you can try to illustrate this and give examples, dates etc. I'm suprised that he had the balls to go to the police as from my experience most men wouldn't have the guts to admit they'd been hit by a woman.
good shot though by the way!

[monkeymonkeymonkey]

mumoverseas
"good shot though by the way!"

Would you have said that if the victim was female?

[mayorquimby]

it all depends on what actually happened and without that info no one on here could give an informed decision.
and self-defence is only a partial legal defence if the actions taken are out of proportion with the aggression you were facing.
however most courts acknowledge that this is not an exact science and that when acting in fear/self-defence one might lash out.so your case would depend largely on what you were defending yourself against. if it was merely aggressive behaviour i.e. shouting/swearing/threats and you did not first try to remove yourself from the situation and simply went straight to physical violence the court would not look favourably upon you unless there was a history of omestic abuse on his part that you could prove which would mitigate your actions in that his turning violent was inevitable.
if he was punching/pushing/chocking etc and then you lashed out that would be a different story. i'm not saying any of this did happen i am simply trying to illustrate how many variables are involved and how every case is different so without details it would be hard to give constructive advice.

[mumoverseas]

oh get a sense of humour! there really are some stupid cows on mumsnet today!

[mumoverseas]

BTW, (before I get more abuse) not aimed specifically at you! Just getting fed up with giving people advice and getting shit for making a flippant comment. Notice you've not given any helpful advice!

[mumoverseas]

before you comment batters, perhaps you should read some of the other threads and the stupid comments made by people who have absolutely no idea what they are talking about

[mumoverseas]

I know mumsnet has a warning at the top of some sections about people not being qualified etc, but some people on here are giving really bad advice and making it sound like they are experts, which could be really unhelpful, and potentially damaging to the OP if they take the advice on board

[mumoverseas]

i'm so sorry you are offended, you are obviously far more intelligent and sensitive than me

[QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow]

Oh batters and monkeymonkeymoneky, take it elsewhere will you? Mumoverseas is actually trying to be helpful, what is YOUR contribution aside from jumping on her?

[QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow]

Usefull Cow Info

My charity of the day is Send a Cow, this being Harvest Festival and all.

[mumoverseas]

oh quintessence----
that is so funny, PMSL which is not good as I'm pregnant and tend to wee when I laugh!
so funny but not sure it helps op.
seriously though, change of name do you have any further information, ie a bit more background to what started this so hopefully someone on here can try to give you some constructive advice as we've gone a bit off track here!

[changeofname80]

We were arguining because he didn't want me to go out but I said I was going out anyway. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back into the living room and I told him to get off me so he twisted my arm behind my back. When he did let go I kicked him in the face. Never been violent before (either of us) but he does try to control and gets annoyed when he can't.

[danceontherun]

Tell the police what you've just said. And keep your head up. It was self defence. You have nothing to hide. Good Luck

[danceontherun]

PS DO you want to be married to someone who reports you to the police?