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Is Anyone Else's DH like This? Really Confused!

(18 Posts)
Dumblonde Tue 07-Oct-08 13:05:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrabShellDude Tue 07-Oct-08 13:37:20

Sorry but he sounds like an idiot. I thought you were going to say he was early twenties or something. But nearly 40?! You're right, it is pathetic.

Fatbob Tue 07-Oct-08 13:40:19

I dont know anyone how gets into fights, all my mates and myself can manage a night out without this kind of thing going on.

sorry he sounds like he's got something to prove or get out of his system.

PortofinoPumpkin Tue 07-Oct-08 13:43:49

Not my DH, but we have a very good friend like this. He too is middle class, and well educated and has a good job. Drink turns him into some kind of eccentric Bertie Wooster character, and he has often ended up getting thumped/thrown out of pubs. He's a lovely guy without any violent inclinations - just takes things too far. No advice apart from maybe encourage him to drink less?

bitsnbobs Tue 07-Oct-08 13:46:04

My dp used to do this kind of thing but since having the children it has stopped although if he has an odd night out like Xmas works do and has too much to drink he always manages to get in a scrap with someone.

Does your dp have a problem with his temper at home? My partner is very short fused and I think alchohol exacerbates it.

captainofthemummies Tue 07-Oct-08 13:48:16

it's quite telling actually what alcohol does to a person. It exacerbates any latent tendancies -so I would be worried, and especially at nearly 40.

stealthsquiggle Tue 07-Oct-08 13:49:20

Presuming he knows he does it, does he see it as a problem?

I would say he needs to control his drinking in any situation where this could happen (i.e. large parties, clubs, etc) - alcohol affects some people that way. Does he get aggressive if he gets drunk at home?

Fatbob Tue 07-Oct-08 14:11:20

In vino veritas.

Dumblonde Tue 07-Oct-08 15:07:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dumblonde Tue 07-Oct-08 15:08:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dumblonde Tue 07-Oct-08 15:10:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fatbob Tue 07-Oct-08 15:16:42

A guy i work with has issues with agression, so he goes to the work gym eveyday and punches the hell out of a punch bag, his hands sometimes bleed from how hard he hits it... without this release i have no doubt he would vent his agression on someone else.

extreme case there i admit, but sometimes people need a way to let off steam.

dearmum Thu 23-Oct-08 07:38:41

Actually, the answer is simple. He's gay.

He just doesn't know it yet.

notyummy Thu 23-Oct-08 08:01:15

Dh and I have a friend like this. The nicest man in the world without a drink (again, well-educated, middle class...in fact v charming and good-looking actually) HOWEVER....with a few drinks in him he is obnoxious, rude and looks for fights. A previous girlfriend put up with this for years (he was never violent with her, but she was walking on eggshells occasionally that he would end up in a fight when they went out). He split up with her and starting seeing the girl he is now married to (now has 2 kids) and she put her foot down after witnessing the behaviour a couple of times and said she was splitting with him if she ever saw it again. He was distraught (I know because my DH ended up working on Boxing Day to cover for him so he could drive down to London to save the relationship...apparently he was in bits because of what had happened) To my knowledge the beast is now firmly in the box.

The short answer to your post is that the behaviour is NOT normal, and that if he cant control it then he should limit himself to a couple of drinks. I think some people almost get an allergic reaction to alcohol that turns them semi-psychotic, and he sounds like one of them.

lol @ he's gay.

I'm surprised we haven't had the normal MN response yet of "shock I couldn't be with a man who did that!! Pack all his things and change the locks now!!!" wink

I think it is just the whole alcohol showing the more dominant parts of us. For me, I drink, get emotional, very jealous and possessive and cry a lot hmm

ToughDaddy Thu 23-Oct-08 08:14:10

Knew someone of similar profile - he went to the gym quite a lot and turned out that he was on "supplements" (steroids).

Kally Thu 23-Oct-08 09:06:14

I have a sister in law like this. She is the most warm king hearted and sweet person when sober. Get a few drinks down her gullet and she becomes demonic. Always picks fights and gets 'gobby' even ended up picking a fight with a police officer (her house was broken into) who limbered into the pub to look for underaged etc and got the lashes of 'See You, go and do your fecking job and catch the theives that broke into my house'. We couldn't shut her up and despite many warnings and trying to get her out of there, she ended up being dragged off and spending the night in local jail. Brother very understanding but apparently this was typical her.
Its the drink, fire water to some and people like this ought to know better as adults and quit. Stick to J2O's...
(I won't go out with her anymore and avoid her like the plague on nights out now).

PlasterofParis Thu 23-Oct-08 23:11:01

ummm. I have had a bad night, like this, came from nowhere, really peed of, n.earby ppl took the brunt Stress particualarly, just a vent (never physical btw-although mental anguish can be just as bad), you know its wrong but sometimes it can envelope you. DP can be same (no excuse), would be nice to install a fluffy pillow! in every house as std methinks.

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