Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is you dp, dh,dw your soulmate or a good fit?

(180 Posts)
twinsetandpearls Mon 06-Oct-08 18:08:56

Just asking as dp and I are reaching a crossroads which is going to be make or break.

It was suggested on here the other week that it is unrealistic to look for a soulmate.

I have a man who is good to me, (usually but that is for another thread) , adores me and dd ( she is not his), works hard in and out of the home, would never cheat or act immorally, I fancy the pants of him and him me and we have things in common ( although perhaps more differences) Should that be enough or would you walk away from that for a soulmate?

zippitippitoes Mon 06-Oct-08 18:09:47

blimey he sounds like he is a soulmate to me what more could you want

MrsMattie Mon 06-Oct-08 18:09:56

He's my best friend. Dunno about soul mate. What does that really mean?

BitOfFun Mon 06-Oct-08 18:11:12

Sounds good to me - what more do you want? If you fancy each other, like each other and respect each other, doesn't that make you soulmates anyway?

zippitippitoes Mon 06-Oct-08 18:11:12

i thought exp was my soulmate but clearly i was mistaken so i dont think you can know

what are the qualities of a soulmate

deanychip Mon 06-Oct-08 18:11:29

have you got a soulmate in mind?
i assume from your post that you may have or will be looking for one?

Lizzylou Mon 06-Oct-08 18:11:50

I think DH is my soulmate, I don't really know how you'd define soulmate tbh.
I love him wholeheartedly, fancy the ass off him, he is my best friend and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I think that's enough grin

I'd say your DP sounds great, why the hesitancy?

NotDoingTheHousework Mon 06-Oct-08 18:13:26

Message withdrawn

twinsetandpearls Mon 06-Oct-08 18:13:45

MrsMattie I dont know, I suspect he loves me more than I love him. I just feel there is a connection missing somewhere.

joshhollowayspieceofass Mon 06-Oct-08 18:14:10

If he's lovely and you still fancy him, I'd say you pretty much hit the jackpot.

I don't know if DH is my soulmate - what's that supposed to mean, that you "complete" each other. Well, DH and I don't do that, but we do massively compliment each other, and often I wonder at a scarier life where our paths didn't cross, and I would not be so lucky to be with such a lovely man.

I think you will have to elaborate on what your hesitancy is if you're to get anything out of this thread smile

onlyjoking9329 Mon 06-Oct-08 18:14:32

so who do you think is your soulmate TSAP?
i married my soulmate.

EdwardCullenCanHaveMySoul Mon 06-Oct-08 18:15:22

Dh is not what I would call a soulmate, he's a fair fit (would have said great fir but things haven't been so easy of late - sounds like a similar situation to the op).
Sometimes it makes me sad when I think there may be my soulmate wandering around out there looking for me!
However, I'm not going to give up the good guy I have to go and look for him - possibly because I'm too scared, possibly because it wouldn't be the right thing for me to do.

twinsetandpearls Mon 06-Oct-08 18:15:50

I have no one in mind.

Lizzylou he is a good man although lately he has had some anger issues and has been hard work. But I know I am not easy to live with either.

I suppose we lack shared ideals and as much as we love each other we frustrate each other.

EdwardCullenCanHaveMySoul Mon 06-Oct-08 18:16:04

He is not a 'great fir' grin I meant of course fit !!

Anna8888 Mon 06-Oct-08 18:16:21

My DP is my best friend and soulmate, yes.

joshhollowayspieceofass Mon 06-Oct-08 18:16:38

Ok, x-posts. If you're feeling like that, then I think there is something to examine here. And I'm sorry you are having a wobble - it must be quite scary.

I remember that feeling with some x partners, before I got married. You realise they are in it more than you, and that can be a terrible turn off. But in those instances, I couldn't really have said I still fancied the pants of them - is this really true? How long have you been together?

expatinscotland Mon 06-Oct-08 18:17:37

I don't believe in soulmates at all.

twinsetandpearls Mon 06-Oct-08 18:17:40

I have had a relationship with someone that I considered a soulmate and we seemed closer that dp and I do, but I messed that one up.

zippitippitoes Mon 06-Oct-08 18:17:51

lack shared ideals

what in a n philosophical if we could mend the world way?

you would vote differently?

onlyjoking9329 Mon 06-Oct-08 18:19:01

i suspect you're thinking your DH isn't your soulmate if you are questioning it.

Peachy Mon 06-Oct-08 18:19:02


pita quite often, but deffo soulmate

expatinscotland Mon 06-Oct-08 18:20:28

no, i never questioned whether or not someone was my soulmate because i never believed in the concept.

twinsetandpearls Mon 06-Oct-08 18:20:46

Yes I do fancy the pants of him and we usually have fantastic sex, at the moment in separate beds while we work out our future.

The things that are not right for me are all very abstract other than at the moment his eternal grumpiness which he is trying to address.

Expat I am wondering if I agree with you and I should stick with what i have rather than aiming for an ideal that does not exist.

thesockmonsterofdoom Mon 06-Oct-08 18:21:11

deffo soulmate, bestfriend, sexiest man in the world and the only prson I want to spend all my time with. Miss him of we are apart for more than 1 day, think I was destined to meet him.

motherinferior Mon 06-Oct-08 18:21:16

I very definitely don't believe in soulmates.

My partner is a nice man. We have made a good life together. He respects me. On balance, most of the time, I feel he's worth the effort.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: