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help me help my sis>>>>

(10 Posts)
kimbie Wed 02-Mar-05 14:08:02

Im so worried about my sister.
Her dp is so mean to her. He can be really nice and loving with her but if they ever have an argument and he cant handle it, my sis gets a slap.
He even does it in public. Nobody would dare stop him though cause they would get hirt too. He even wants a baby with her and they only been together 4 months. If she comes on her period he sulks (shes says shes not ready yet)Im just really worried about her and feel i cant help her bcause she says; their fine and she deserves a slap sometimes. Something much worse can happen to her 1day.I dont want her to have a baby with him one day then she would definetly b stuck with him and poor baby.
shes 21,his 28.
Any advice please, to how i can help my sis in her situation. Thanks.

NomDePlume Wed 02-Mar-05 14:09:52

Give her the number of domestic violence charities (I'll look them up and post them...)

Help her get out now, they've only been together a few months, it'll be a damn sight easier to escape a future of voilence and misery now, than when she has kids with him or they have a real history together.

NomDePlume Wed 02-Mar-05 14:10:57

Women's Aid

NomDePlume Wed 02-Mar-05 14:11:40

National Domestic Violnce Hotline

NomDePlume Wed 02-Mar-05 14:12:13

Sorry, that last one is a US organisation... Please ignore it.

kimbie Wed 02-Mar-05 14:14:50

Thanks .She hasnt listen to anything any one tells her and she wont call anyone for help for a fact. I will try to talk her into it some more but i dont think she would she says she loves him.

NomDePlume Wed 02-Mar-05 14:16:25

The longer she stays with him the owrse it will get. Unfortunately you can't force her to leave him, but you can be supportive when she needs you. She will only leave when she's had enough and seen the light. I know that's frustrating but it's true.

popadopalis Wed 02-Mar-05 14:20:03

Kimbie - Hi, I used to work for a women's refuge and know a little bit about domestic violence(DV). Women's Aid are a great organisation and have a 24 hour helpline for you or your sis to call for information or advice. They can also help get refuge if needed.

Unfortunately a lot of women who suffer DV think they deserve it becuase their DP/H make them feel that they do. Your sister needs to make the decision to leave and all you can really do is be there for her and try to empower her so she comes to realise that this is not how she should be treated.

It can be really obvious to everyone on the outside that this is wrong but if you are the one in the situation and you love the guy it can be really confusing.

I'm sorry I can't help more but I do understand what your going through. I would advise you ring Women's Aid National Helpline and speak to someone. There no. is 08457023468.

kimbie Wed 02-Mar-05 14:27:22

They are living in her house and when they do argue shes the one that has to find somewhere to stay 4 the night.So she cant really try to leave,its having to try and get him to leave which i dont think will go to well with him. Im going to give her all the support but your right i cant force her..

popadopalis Wed 02-Mar-05 15:02:23

If she ever does want to leave him, she can force him to leave. She can get an injunction out on him. Keep the number in case you or she needs it in future. They know all the legal side of things and can advise about her house and stuff. One thing that I was told and that I always remember is that there is always a solution to every problem. I wish I could help more.

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