Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

WHY is he asking me out for dinner????????

(16 Posts)
mybumpsaboy Fri 03-Oct-08 18:02:45

God my ex plays with my head

Sometimes he's ghastly to me, sometimes sweetness & light....most of the time utterly indifferent although always doting on the concept of his son in my tummy. which is good, I guess...but makes me feel so sad.

He's now "with" the teenager he left me for, although he refuses to admit this publicly (he seems to think I could use it against him in court as shes so young).

I'm away for a week, & he's texted asking if he can take me out for dinner. Just to be civil & chat apparantly.

My head feels utterly screwed up He never took me anywhere at all when we were together!!!!

Kimi Sat 04-Oct-08 17:19:55

bump, sorry no advice but sure someone will come along soon

KerryMum Sat 04-Oct-08 17:21:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whomovedmychocolate Sat 04-Oct-08 17:24:11

Go, eat, be civil, then leave, your baby needs nutrition - worst case scenario is you discover he's more of an arse than you think. No big loss there!

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 04-Oct-08 17:58:15

This man, the father of your unborn child, can't even seemingly be bothered to have a phone conversation with you.

Ignore his request for dinner, he's playing games. These people do not change.

Is he going to pay for his son; after all he is financially responsible for this child once born.

Overmydeadbody Sat 04-Oct-08 18:01:55

He sounds fickle (I think I'm using the right word here) or like he knows it will screw with your head.

Don't let it. There is no reason why you have to go out to dinner with him. He can be civil and chat over the phone.

Don't let it get to you. Just have minimal contact and rise above it.

warthog Sat 04-Oct-08 18:34:53

i'd ignore text.

ninah Sat 04-Oct-08 20:19:52

don't go.

mybumpsaboy Sun 05-Oct-08 12:27:08

thanks've well & truly confirmed my gut instinct: I'll tell him if he wants to talk, we can talk via phone.

He's just so damn sly...he knows asking me for dinner LOOKS like a kind gesture etc, but it's just not the kind of thing you do considering the circumstances is it, it's way too intimate

Simplysally Sun 05-Oct-08 12:31:01

Don't go - it's mind games. Just ignore the text.

solidgoldbrass Sun 05-Oct-08 12:32:22

Either that or his new GF has dumped him or is away for the night and he wants sex and thinks you might oblige.

Janos Sun 05-Oct-08 16:42:41

What Attila and OMDB say - he is after playing mind games. Don't go along with it. Tell him any conversations you need to have can be conducted over the phone or via email (although be prepared for him to ramp his campaign of manipulation up a notch).

Think you need to keep away from this man as much as possible to be honest and keep contact to an absolute minimum.

He will be playing his 'OW' in similar fashion as well I suspect.

mybumpsaboy Mon 06-Oct-08 09:00:20

Hi ....I think you're spot on:

I reckon he hadn't heard from her for a couple of days so decided to text me...he texted yesterday saying he couldn't do dinner afterall cos no money (he went out with her n her mates the nite before!), but if I wanted I could pop round on Weds when he's got a mate staying over....I politely declined :p It's so typical 'him', always shifting the boundaries - whilst he was with me he used the OW as his emotional buffer whenever things got tough n I aint having him do that to me now

THEN he got drunk last nite, kept textin me about how he was watchin some geeky sci-fi series (which I think OW had got him into), & about how I was better off without him anyway because he's a saddo, but he hopes our baby understands????

head-screwage lol.

mybumpsaboy Mon 06-Oct-08 23:11:00

now the bugger has announced he "could see us being together one day in the distant future". And wanted a response. Migod!

dizzywitches Mon 06-Oct-08 23:13:22

tell him no and start ignoring him
he's done enough damage - stupid bloke can't have his cake and eat it

so he gets to shag the teenager until he decides he wants to be with you?!? shockhmm

I think fecking not angry

VineGARISHtits Mon 06-Oct-08 23:20:00

God he sounds like an egotistical nob job, definatley playing mind games with you, tell him to feck off, better still, ignore him completely, sit back and watch him try every trick in the book to get your attention, then self combust when he realsies he cant have you at the click of his fingers.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: