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help me please

(10 Posts)
noahsmummy12 Thu 02-Oct-08 21:52:10

i love my partner so very much, but after havin a baby our sex life is non existant i hate myself and my body and i'm not physicaly attracted to my partner. worse still i have met another guy who i am very much attracted to, i would never do nethin with this other guy but it is doing my head in i cant stop thinkin bout him. i feel like the worst person in the world.

TeaDr1nker Thu 02-Oct-08 21:56:03

No, your not the worst person in the world. Look inwards. How old is your baby? there are some who resume their love life very quickly, for some it takes months or even longer. Have you spoken to your DP about this? Hormones have an awful lot to answer for, don't be hard on yourself. Maybe start 'dating' your DP again and see what happens. You have to make time for each other as a couple too - can anyone babysit for you whilst you have time together?

noahsmummy12 Thu 02-Oct-08 22:03:00

dp actually knows about this other guy, he was hurt but understood wen i explained to him how unhappy i was with myself,my body and our relationship. my baby is a year old. i'm just not sure if we can ever get back our sex life, coz of how i feel and coz i'm not physically attracted to him nemore.

CherryChapstick Thu 02-Oct-08 22:06:19

Weren't you the one who had to call the police on your other half a few weeks ago?
If so, you should have binned him then, as you said you would. If you weren't interested in this other bloke, why are you thinking about him?

noahsmummy12 Thu 02-Oct-08 22:09:45

not me, i've only just signed onto this site lol i didnt say i wasnt interested in this other guy, just that i wasnt gonna do nething with him

TeaDr1nker Thu 02-Oct-08 22:12:09

Could you have PND? Think about what attracted you to DP in the first place, remember the fun times before DC. Having a child puts such a strain on a relationship. At least you can communicate with DH, which is a start.

hairymcclary Thu 02-Oct-08 22:15:48

Aaah, the grass is always greener on the other side!
Have you considered its the fear of the commitment that is making you feel like this? I have been where you are now and it does get better with time.
You have a child now you cant be thinking about other men and that makes it more appealing! Find something/ some time to spend with your dp and give it 6months to year before you give up yet!

HRHSaintMamazon Thu 02-Oct-08 22:19:03

your going through a stressfull time at the moment. your worried abut money and how you will cope. it is no surprise your off sex.

although i am sure you still love your DP it may be that subconciously you are blaming him for losing his job. you dont want to feel close to him right now as your angry with him.

And to top it off your baby is only what 11 months? you may well have some mild PND. a lot of women find it difficult to re engage their sexual relationship following child birth

noahsmummy12 Thu 02-Oct-08 22:32:01

i'm not gonna give up, i love dp so much, i just need to stop thinking bout this other guy and i'm finding it so hard. i no its wrong to think bout another guy wen i hav a young child but i just cant help it. honestly i couldnt feel worse rite now. i hav considered i mite hav pnd but to b honest i dont think i would no the difference really as i hav suffered from depression for the most part of my life.

cantpickyourfamily Thu 02-Oct-08 22:39:16

you should try to keep busy and do your best not to see this other guy, and I'm sure with time you will think about him less.

And if something were to happen with you and the other guy it would probably only make you realise that you love your dp so much and it was just the idea of the other guy you liked.

You really do need to make an effort to spice things up with your dp and so does he. And I completely understand how you feel about your body as I feel the same about mine. It really does put you off being close to you dp as you worry that your body is not how it used to be before...

Good luck... x x

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