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(3 Posts)
dunnowot2do Wed 01-Oct-08 15:14:07

My ex husband and I split up 4 years ago. I have always been close to his family and remain close even now. I have always been closer to my ex mil than I am with my own mother.

Ex's wife can't stand this fact and seems to have done a good job of alienating ex from the rest of his family. This is none of my business as what ex wants to do with regard to his family is nothing to do with me anymore. That was until I got married again last year and I invited ex's family. And because they came, ex and his wife have barely spoken to any of them since. Ex and wife also asked mutual friends of ours not to come to my wedding. They also had the children for an extra night so as me and Dh could spend an extra night after our wedding in the hotel as we weren't having a honeymoon straight away, they called us back early because Ds was supposedly really poorly with a tummy bug. When we arrived back there was absolutely nothing wrong with DS.

Anyway fast forward a few months and ex's wife is pregnant. Ex mil was informed by text message. The baby was born almost 2 weeks ago and ex mil found out when someone came into her place of work and congratulated her on the birth of her grandchild!! This was over 48 hours after the baby had been born. She was so upset and was crying down the phone to me. I knew the baby had been born because ex had phoned to tell DC but I didn't say anything to her because it's not my place to do so.

Ex's sister had a go at him for upsetting his mother so he went around to apologise and his excuse was that so and so had no right to tell her that the baby had been born and that he didn't tell her because seeing that they weren't speaking he didn't want her just turning up at their house. She could go to see the baby but he would phone her the following week to arrange a time because his wifes family were visiting the baby this week. (She lives a 2 minute drive away from ex).

Ex mil is now singing his praises and is acting as if the whole year that they didn't speak to her never happened. I'm all for thinking "life's too short" but she never stood up to him or questioned his reasons for anything. Ex and his wife can be very bullying especially to me. They have said and done some awful things to not only me but to his family too. Ex mil has seen me go to hell and back through them being the way they are with me and I'm feeling a little peeved that they have gotten away with behaving just as they please and getting away with it again. No-one ever stands up to them and they think that they can say or do what they like.

If I was in ex mil's position and saw my son behaving so badly towards his ex wife, the mother of 2 of his children, I would have to say something. She's not even batted an eyelid to him about the way he has treated her, well to his face that is but who was it who had to listen to her crying down the phone because he'd upset her so much?? ME!!

I'm kind of thinking the time has come to cut myself free of any dealings with that family. It's just a shame because we are so close. What do you wise mumsnetters think?? Has anyone else remained friendly with their ex's family???

dunnowot2do Wed 01-Oct-08 15:19:45

Sorry forgot to title this thread!!

Carmenere Wed 01-Oct-08 15:21:56

It sounds like a typical case of blood is thicker than water. Iiwy I would just stop seeing his family. you can be pleasant for dc's sake but in fairness, it is a good thing that ex mil is now getting on well with her son. Sorry for you but time to move on I think.

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