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Am I being unreasonable - 4,546,756,543(41 Posts)
Never thought I would be starting an "Am I being unreasonable" thread but here goes. Just let me rant!
Tonight my DH was getting ready to go out to the gym, I was playing piano and the kids were playing in their rooms. DH comes down the stairs "Are you not going to get dinner on for the kids", me "yeah, in a minute" (as if they would let me forget to feed them. Next comment "What's happened with the washing, the dirty washing is all over the floor up there and it's been like that for weeks" (me thinks his favourite posing clothes for the gym are in the wash and that is the problem) to which I blew up (overreaction totally) and proceeded to rant about how I hold told him a couple of weeks ago that I was behind with the washing and I just couldn't get a handle on it etc and that after almost 10 years of marriage and clean, socks, knickers, ironed shirts etc all magically finding their way into the wardrobe and never as much as a comment why suddenly start talking about it now that I have fallen behind. He said "I was only just saying, there is loads of washing and the washing lines outside are empty and the drying racks inside are virtually empty, I wondered what was happening" cue another tantrum "we've had builders here all winter so I've had no outside drying lines, the minute you put them back up it snows!" (I of course had washing out the day it snowed). He said I was overreacting and how would it be if I asked about the state of our finances (his dept) and he blew up at me like that to which I said I would have listened to him a couple of weeks before telling me about the problem and would have been understanding and possibly helpful.
Now he has gone out and I've made my way round the house, he has finished all the milk and no doubt has no intention of buying any more, finished the bread without taking a new loaf out the freezer, left the bathroom soaking wet (wetroom) despite me having asked him the other week if the bathroom is really bad could he dry up the floor with a towel (from the washing basket) and he has been all over the house in shoes that have had muck stuck in the tread, he has also walked through the wet in the bathroom creating a lovely muddy mess in a couple of places.
I have an ear infection (not to painful thankfully), DS2 hasn't been well, I have also been ironing today and taken DS1 to his swimming lesson.
It's OK no need to read or reply, I feel better just getting it all out!
Off to get the kids into bed now and sort out our dinner, baked potatoes which I know he will turn his nose up at!
Change the locks
Seriously, make a list and say you would like a calm word when the kids are in bed. Do not divulge the contents of the list until then and just ask him for his input. A pound to a penny he will squirm.
Demented, I hope you have an opportunity to talk to him tonight, and sort it out.
Thanks Coddy you've cheered me up!
Today is Monday, perhaps I should have been in the wash house!
Posing clothes - his trendy stuff for the gym, he had to go out in trackies and a t-shirt. Oh the shame of it!
The me playing the piano bit is relevant because he seems to always interupt me playing (perhaps I am dreadful ) but when he plays the guitar the amp is turned up so loud you can't hear anything else in the house (victorian semi so not a shoe box), the telly, the person you are speaking to on the phone, nothing!
I will speak to him about it later, don't know if I can be gassed writing things down though.
The shoes bit makes me really ! He has always had a bad habit of wearing shoes in the house and the latest excuse is that he broke his foot a few months back and his foot feels better supported in a shoe but does it have to be caked in mud too!
The maid got the sack a couple of weeks ago, maybe that's the problem!
Ffs! I think I have an equal partnership with dp here and yet I still have days (like just now in fact) where I get cross about division of labour stuff. I've just had dd in the bath with me, which was lovely, while dp and ds watched football but when I came down and handed dd to dp to put a nappy/babygro/grobag on he acted all huffy. Meanwhile I loaded the dishwasher, warmed her bottle, wiped down dd's highchair, made ds some hot chocolate, emptied his lunch box and washed it up, ditto dd's cup, wiped up spilt water on the floor AND WIPED DOWN THE KITCHEN SURFACES! So dp can just eff off with his huffing about putting a babygro on and giving her a bottle! So NO, in my present frame of mind I don't think you're being unreasonable! NO NO NO! It's bloody irritating and now I'm irritated with your dh as well as my own dp. Ooooh, you're lucky I have plenty of irritability to spare! You're not unreasonable. Bloody washing, I have about 100 million loads to do. I hate it. Sorry about your ear infection. lol at Cod and piano!
Sobernow, I'm not sure I've got the energy for a row but you're probably right I think he does think he does everything, particularly as he works from home (which has many, many perks don't get me wrong) but I do constantly feel like he is on his high horse thinking he is holding everything together and I am just faffing about all day long.
The thing about my DH is that he is good at getting praise out of us all, anything he does it is "come and see what I've done", blah, blah, blah then you'll get the story of everything that had to be done right down to the fine details where I just do things (or not as the case is with the washing the last few days, I have done one load today and about three loads over the weekend but that seems to have slipped past him), I am finding more and more since he has been at home all day that if I am doing a task I have to say "Look I've done this, this and this" and point out the bits that were time consuming/awkward/difficult etc, very boring.
"Tonight my DH was getting ready to go out to the gym, I was playing piano and the kids were playing in their rooms."
Sounds blody marvellous!
Seriously, my DH does ALL the washing. I feel like the only woman in the world who expects to have someone else put clean pants and bras in her drawers every morning. I'm like a MAN.
My DH does the washing but I have to put it away (and feel v put-up for this, natch).
have you sneakily got married MI?!
i'd be pissed off in your position too demented.
I want a dh like morningpaper´s!
Demented - i would have blown up too. Luckily, though dh doesn't often do any of it, he never moans about the washing. Even though currently the pile in the washing basket is so high it is perilously close to toppling over in the night and smothering us as we sleep.
He does say things like "I've been working all day" as a reason for not helping me with some task though, which really pisses me off. I want him to swap places for a month.
(i'm sorry for being a pedant . i think us unmarried types should stick together!)
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