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Do all men cheat even the good ones?

(164 Posts)
London7 Sat 27-Sep-08 09:09:05

I am horrified to find out that some of our male friends, who I have always looked up to have cheated on their partners. They have admitted it to me and told me that even my husband must be doing it because it is normal for a guy to do that!shock. Am I being naive or are they right?

RubySlippers Sat 27-Sep-08 09:10:35


not all men cheat

i think it is a really poor view of men and it is not "normal" - maybe more common than you think, but this doesn't normalise it

soontobealone Sat 27-Sep-08 09:12:30

most cheat but not all.

TrinityRhino Sat 27-Sep-08 09:14:20

I wouldn't say that MOST do at all

quite alot maybe but so not most IMO

You just have to find the right man for you

maidamess Sat 27-Sep-08 09:16:25

I was going to say 'most' cheat? And query that huge generalisation.

But actually thinking about the men I know...out of 5 of them, 2 of them have strayed!

I think perhaps we hear about the cheating ones..while the steady loyal ones don't get a mention.

Bumperlicious Sat 27-Sep-08 09:19:01

What a load of rubbish. Just because some men have the morals of an amoeba and like to project it onto other men to make themselves feel better, does not mean all men cheat.

My DH definitely doesn't. Not only do I know that he wouldn't, but even if I suspected him for one minute he never has the opportunity.

ninah Sat 27-Sep-08 09:19:49

I think lots would and do, given a chance. I don't think monogamy over, say, forty plus years is realistic. I don't think I could achieve it anyway!

forevercleaning Sat 27-Sep-08 09:21:16

Some men would surprise you, even if you really felt strongly that they wouldnt do it to you. Some think they can get away with it, and do it just on the spur of the moment.

BUT Many men know they have too much to lose and wouldnt want to anyway.

Celery Sat 27-Sep-08 09:21:48

Lots of men do, but then lots of women do too.

pagwatch Sat 27-Sep-08 09:26:40

there is a difference between a partner who may one day wish to move on and a partner who would cheat.
I can't imagine but would be prepared to acceptthat one day my DH may want to move on or may want somone else. But I know he would not cheat.
We have been married nearly 20 years and i know his moral compass. He finds people who cheat generally pretty dispicable. Of course here can be genuine tragedies - but the idea of shagging around whilst married is something he finds shallow and scummy. He has a couple of friends who do it and he hates it.
For him it is about honesty rather than the sex. If you love someone then you should find it impossible to lie to them and decieve them. If you can do that then that is a character trait he personally finds unpleasant.

I feel the same and have never and would never cheat on him.
If you are not in love any more then move on. But the lying and the screwing around is ugghh IMO

hughjarssss Sat 27-Sep-08 09:28:37

I worked in a predominatly male industry for amny years and it shocked me the amount of men that do cheat. And some certinalty view it as 'normal' behaviour.

However looking back I think that the majority of men that I worked with didnt cheat.

mumoverseas Sat 27-Sep-08 09:34:05

but how many of them actually do cheat and how many just boast to their friends that they do just to impress them?
I know my DH would never cheat. He knows the rules and that I would be wearing his testicles as earrings if he did!

Doctorpuss Sat 27-Sep-08 09:35:26

Of course ALL men don't cheat.

onlyjoking9329 Sat 27-Sep-08 09:45:30

no not all men cheat, that's like saying all women cheat.

fullmoonfiend Sat 27-Sep-08 09:59:04

I have been with dh for 15 years. He has never cheated. None of my previous partners cheated (well, not that I know of..)

Szyslak Sat 27-Sep-08 10:05:23

Lots of people cheat.

But not all.

Relationships are hard, people are flawed, love/lust is a very powerful feeling.

But most poeple want to be good poele, do the right thing and tyr hard to do so, but someimes even they make mistakes. Sometimes big devastating mistakes.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sat 27-Sep-08 10:08:01

no not all. probably not even most but a fair few i know are capable/have done it/are doing it.

i often wonder why their gf's stay. i mean if you left his last gf/wife for you what makes you think he will be faithfull to you? ooops there he goes off with the next dumb blonde.

ambercat Sat 27-Sep-08 10:20:05

I would say 99% of men in the forces cheat.

OneBoyOneGirl Sat 27-Sep-08 10:22:15

I sincerely hope not, and am sure it is not the case. I trust DH 100% and am sure that he has never cheated, and never would.

LynetteScavo Sat 27-Sep-08 10:26:36

No, not all men cheat.

I've been told by DH's friends that he would never cheat on me (and they have been a bit bemused by this hmm)

DH says he would never cheat because he wouldn't risk loosing access to the DC's, more than any other reason.

VanillaPumpkin Sat 27-Sep-08 10:28:53


jellybeans Sat 27-Sep-08 10:28:58

Everyone I know whose DH has cheated previous said 'he would never cheat'. You can never say never! I think most men would (and alot of women too) if put in the right (or wrong) circumstances and thought they could get away with it. I think this society encourages it too.

wannaBe Sat 27-Sep-08 10:33:18

I think that one of the reasons why people think men cheat as opposed to women is because men are more open about it.

In reality I think that probably similar percentages of men and women cheat, but because women seem to like to aspire to this "all men are bastards and all women are victims" culture, they are not as open about cheating on their partners as men who are expected to cheat anyway so might as well admit it.

And let's face it, not all men cheat with single women.

and anyone, be they man or woman, who has a relationship with a married man/woman is complicit in cheating.

overthetop Sat 27-Sep-08 10:54:41

I would say that most men and woman cheat at some point in their lives.

Internet dating sites and mobile phones have made it so easy and tempting.

There is a dating site especially for married people and when you join they give you pages of tips in how not to get caught. There are things on it that you would never have thought of shock making it even easier to get away with.

overthetop Sat 27-Sep-08 10:56:48

Lots of the men on that site say in their profile that they are 100% certain that their wives would never suspect them, and they remain on the site for many months so that is probably true.

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