DH ( not actually married tho ) and I have been having troubles for so long I can't remember what it felt like to not have it.
He did not live with us for nearly 2 yrs when financial matters came to a crunch and during that time I put up some walls and we grew apart. He came round after work every day once he found a job, one that he is still in 2 yrs later which is great, but didn't really help me much. I had a 2yo when I moved out and was 3 mths pg with dd2, who is now 2.
I think a lot of trust issues are present now regarding money tho he is trying to prove he has changed and can be more responsible and provide for us.
The trouble is since he moved back in last Nov we have been on a rollercoaster of nearly breaking up and then having a HTH and trying again.
I have gone off sex BIG TIME, which is unusual for me, I am not sure if it's him or the sex. I still find him attractive, just am so tired and not in the mood.
This is a huge problem for him and he nags me and nags me. We have had big talks about this and he has asked how he can fix it, my answer is give me space, leave me alone, stop asking and nagging. The rejection is horrible for him, yet he keeps asking and nagging me.
Well...on monday night it all went a bit horrible. He asked for some relief as sex is off the menu and he doesn't like to do it himself, I said no, he nagged me and tried to guilt me, saying he couldn't sleep as he was so horny and he just wanted me, that if I had just done it when he asked I could be finished by now etc. I continued to say no. I don't want to, I never use bullshit excuses, but I don't want to doesn't seem to be a good enough excuse for him. He stormed out the bedroom calling me names, and hissing at me in teh most horrible voice, he was so angry, I could hear him ranting downstairs from the bedroom. I thought he had gone to sleep downstairs and had a bit of a sob into my pillow, then he came back up. I am not scared of him, but I lay still. He climbed back in adn said, nastily, that this will be the last time he shares my bed, ever.
So, the next day I am dressing dd2, gettting ready to take dd1 to school and he comes in the rooom kisses me and says don't be grumpy. I was shocked and pissed off, but let it go as the girls were about. Later on teh phone he asks why I am being off with him. HE DOESN@T REMEMBER ANY OF IT!!!!!!
I was amazed, he had had 7 beers, but that is not enough to get him drunk, so there is no reason he shouldn't remember, but he claims he doesn't. I was so furious I spent the day lookign for a house, but now I am not sure how I can be mad enough to break up with him over it if he doesn't remember, I'm not even sure I believe him, tho he seems genuinly not to.
I am so confused, how bad was this in the grand scheme of things, cos I dont know if I can judge properly anymore, it felt very bad to me, and I dont think I can be the woman who puts up with this kind of crap, also what else could he do then not remember.
AAAARGH, I just dont know.
I have to go now, but please respond to me
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Not sure I can put this into the proper perspective, please help me.....
BandofMothers · 26/09/2008 10:27
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