Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I'm totally livid at my mum and stepdad

(22 Posts)
MrsSnape Fri 26-Sep-08 08:17:04

Current situation:

I'm stuck on one of the roughest estates in Hull. My kids are due to go to one of the roughest schools in the city. Obv. Very depressed and stressed about it all.

MONTHS AGO I asked my mum if my stepdad would be a guarantor for a prvate rented house so I could move (currently unemployed and single parent, deperately searching for work).

She said YES. HE said yes. They KNEW what a guarantor was because he even said "as long as she promises to keep her repayments up".

So I applied for a few houses but got nowhere.

Wednesday the PERFECT house came up in the PERFECT area, housing benfit ok with a guarantor so BEOFRE I went for it I phoned my mum and asked if it was still ok. She said YES. When he got in from work he said YES.

So I went to see this house yesterday, it was PERFECT and I was told it was practically mine. I was so excited.

I then went and applied for an £800 loan which I was told I was pretty much guaranteed. All I needed to do was get the guarantor form signed and then it was would be pretty much all go from there.

So this morning, my mum phones and says "I'm really sorry but he's decided he won't do it, he's scared you won't pay the rent" . I am fucking FUMING and I swear to god he's done this on purpose because he's that much of a spiteful twat.

I'm just livid, absolutely fucking MAD. I've now applied for an £800 loan which I'll have to pay back for no bloody reason, I have applied for two houses which I'm pretty much guaranteed of getting, I told the kids they would no longer have to go to chav-hell high school next year and then he goes and does this.

AM I BEING UNREASONABLE??? Why the fuck didn't he say in the first place before I went and faffed about trying desperately to get these houses? why wait until I'm in the final stages of securing a half decent house to drop the bombshell?

I've never been so annoyed. I ended up arguining with my mum and put the phone down on her (because she was sticking up for him).

I can't stop crying. I had a final chance to get away from this shit hole and they go and do this. I wouldn't mind but she even came with me yesterday to look at the houses.

missingtheaction Fri 26-Sep-08 08:19:41

did he just change his mind or was it something to do with the amount of the rent/the loan as well?

MrsSnape Fri 26-Sep-08 08:21:41

The loan isn't even anything to do with him, that's mine and doesn't need a guarantor.

Apparantly its because they wanted his bank details hmm he's now decided that he didn't realise he'd have to pay if I didn't which is a fucking lie because he even said when I asked (more than once) "As long as she'll pay the rent, otherwise I'll have to do it" so to me its litrally as if he's waited until I'm so close just to truely be a complete bastard. Thats him all over.

lilacclaire Fri 26-Sep-08 08:27:18

Ooh so sorry, is there anyone else that could be your guarantor?
What a twat, so angry for you x

blinks Fri 26-Sep-08 08:30:16

instead of losing the head, I think you need to talk to him on his own and go through all of his concerns (and talk about schools etc) and see if he'd bend in any way... he will be impressed with your maturity if you change the way you're handling this.

this just gives him ammunition...

mumoverseas Fri 26-Sep-08 08:30:37

oh poor you, that is really unkind of him. Surely he knew what he was agreeing to unless he is really stupid! Its not like yiu didn't keep checking and give him time to consider! Can your mum alone not be guarantor?

Pushpinia Fri 26-Sep-08 08:32:00

God how horrible, you must be devastated sad

My Dad hated giving his financial info to them too but he did it thank God. Or we wouldn't have a house.

It's really sad that your mother has sided with him.

I wonder if you have any way of talking the agency round with good references? They might waiver the guarantor thing if they can see your bank statements for instance and like you enough.

MrsSnape Fri 26-Sep-08 08:32:48

no, nobody else sad

It makes me more mad because my cousins all seem to get whatever they want when they want it.

One wanted a house but needed £1000 so hey presto...her boyfriends daddy GAVE them it.

Another wanted this other house but needed a guarantor...hey presto...her daddy did it.

But me, no I'm stuck here.

LilRedWG Fri 26-Sep-08 08:34:25

Any chance that your uncle would do it for you if you explained the position?

Am [angry} and for you and your children.

mampam Fri 26-Sep-08 08:35:17

So sorry for you. Do you have anyone else you could ask, close friends, brothers or sisters, grandparents??

Sounds like your stepdad is a bit of a wanker. Some people enjoy kicking others when they are down.

MrsSnape Fri 26-Sep-08 08:38:33

oh he is a complete wanker. He's a perfect example of the word wanker.

Nobody else would do it, my grandparents are ill and i'm not close to my uncles/aunts and my father died years ago.

LilRedWG Fri 26-Sep-08 08:40:31

I'm so sorry MrsSnape. What an absolute wanker!

Have a chat with the letting agents and see if they can help at all.

Pushpinia Fri 26-Sep-08 08:40:37

Approach the landlord. Really. If you can show that your rent is always paid it might be easier than you think to get around it. Explain you've been let down because the stepdad doesn't understand the system. You have nothing to lose.

Wishing you luck xx

Pushpinia Fri 26-Sep-08 08:41:23

I wonder if council has a guarantor system that they would put into place? I know they can help with deposits etc. so worth a try. They want people to be in private rentals I think.

LilRedWG Fri 26-Sep-08 08:42:00

Pushpina is right - get bank statements out showing rent is ALWAYS paid as a priority and ask very nicely. Tell them there's been a family row and that step-father is a wanker.

MrsSnape Fri 26-Sep-08 09:20:08

I've tried explaining to them and got "I'm really sorry but without a guarantor, we can't let you rent with us.

Oh and my mum has just said "Barry said we can't afford to move yet we'd be paying for you to do it".

That hits the nail on the bed basically, they can't move so they don't want to help me do it either.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Fri 26-Sep-08 09:29:12

but if you are getting housing benefit your rent is sorted surely? im mean the only thing that could go wrong is you not giving the council the information they need. have you explained that to him? they wont need to pay anything for you.

pushpina is right the council do want people in private rented because they dont have enough council housing to go around, so if you have a word with them they may phone up the people you are going to rent from and see if they can help you come to an arrangement.

MrsSnape Fri 26-Sep-08 09:30:48

I told him the rent is already sorted, I'm actually getting it already, it would just need the details changing. I can tell my mum thinks he's being a tosser because she even said "I told barry all that, honest".

He's just doing it to be a twat.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Fri 26-Sep-08 09:34:53

you do know that you dont have to tell prospective landlords that you get HA? have the money paid to yourself instead of directly to the landlord. so long as you are paying your rent it is no business of theirs where you are getting the money.

MrsSnape Fri 26-Sep-08 09:36:47

I had to put employment details on the application form sad

SilverSparkle Fri 26-Sep-08 10:34:33

I'm sorry if this has been asked already but why can you not put your mum as gaurantor?

MrsSnape Fri 26-Sep-08 10:36:32

She doesn't work and the guarantor has to be in full time employment.

Its ok though, I've calmed down now and started to see things clearer. Sittinga round feeling sorry for myself won't help anything so I've just managed to get a job interview for monday for a recruitment firm, I'll make it...even if I have to do it alone grin

Thanks for all the advice and words of encouragment btw

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: