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Big marriage problems - need to fix boring social life

(8 Posts)
Mumfun Thu 25-Sep-08 18:43:56

Having huge marriage problems. Very sad, going to Relate and although progressing not sorted out. DH having major Mid life crisis and also feels no longer in love with me. But still with me. I did wonder if anyone else but feeling more confident this not the case now.

So lots going on but one deep down problem is he is bored due to our social life.

Need to sit down and discuss it this weekend so would really appreciate help so I can have some good ideas (and stressed out of mind by all the relationship problems so brain dead)

Basically in London and DH from London - me from elsewhere. Did have some good friends living near but moved on. He also dumped some suitable old friends of his- dont really know why and very annoying.

So basically got to get our social life better. DH has couple good friends with kids who we see - but one is so busy with a million friends we see them twice a year if lucky.

We really need to build more friends in our area - hoping to do some through school - DS just started but a lot of them seem to know eac other for years and hard to break in.

What else would you do to get more involved in community and make more friends to do stuff at weekends?.(I do know some mums to do things in the week but seem to struggle to convert them to weekend stuff due to having other stuff to do etc) Both DH and I from religious backgrounds and think he'll want to move us all to doing Catholic things which is his background but Im really not keen as think they are dodgy on children and a lot of things really.

theressomethingaboutmarie Thu 25-Sep-08 20:57:34

Get thee to the gym!! We met lots of great friends at the gym. Also pop down to the local pub (if it's nice), go to the school socials etc. It's a good start at least.

He has to make an effort too regarding your social life; it's not just your burden.

soopermum1 Fri 26-Sep-08 09:21:38

i wouldn't discount getting involved in church activities. i helped with the church fayre last year and met some lovely people, and the word 'god' was not mentioned once wink our church seems to do a lot of social non religious things and there seems to be quite strong links between the church ad the local pub grinowned by parishioners. the bonus of church type stuff is that you get to follow up the contact at mass every week so you could do sunday lunch or breakfast in a cafe or something afterwards.

having said that, i'm the one who has made the contact, DH hasn't, he is a complete loner so will be reading this thread with interest.

Anna8888 Fri 26-Sep-08 09:26:54

Get involved in school. My DP's friends - most of whom live very nearby - mostly bore me and my friends, who are fun and exciting, are scattered all over the world.

I have got my act together this year and am working on meeting all the other expat/non-French parents at school. So far so good - lots of fun and lively people who are also looking for good times.

DP is a bit jealous (this is a very good thing) of my new life.

Hassled Fri 26-Sep-08 09:30:58

Agree that working on the school social bit could work well. If you have the time/inclination, I have made some very good friends through the PTA - and they organise a lot of adult events like QUiz Nights which are a good laugh. And invite other kids around after school - a good way of getting to know the mothers and breaking into the cliques.

theautomatic Fri 26-Sep-08 15:58:10

Cant wait for my dd to start school then! Really need a boost to my social life too. Work in London but live a large commute away and dont have many friends closeby. Often dh and I end up spending our weekends watching dvds, sharing a bottle of wine. Most of the time I'm OK about this but sometimes it'd be nice to see other couples and I know dh would like it, as hes really sociable. Sadly for dh he moved away from his friends and is now only in touch with a couple of them who we see once or twice a year. Maybe meeting other parents at my dd school will revolutionise my social life!!

amanda6 Fri 10-Oct-08 02:53:33

new to mumsnet. I have found out my husband has been having an affair for a few months. he is not sure if he can stop as he doesn;t know if he loves me anymore. We have 2 children aged 5 and 17 months. He has had a gambling addition for a few years now but got out of hand when my daughter was born last year.The debt came well over £70,000! Not sure what to do. I am willing to give our marraige a go and try and work things through but unsure if he wants to. I've told him if he sees her on saturday as he says he is, then i won't be able to consider having him back if he changes his mind. Any thoughts on this one?

bleurgh Fri 10-Oct-08 04:57:02

Join a choir, not necessarily church choir but maybe a school thing.

Find the dads in school who play Sunday football and sign up your husband.

School definitely first stop as that is how you will become friendlier with local people you can see more often. PTA. Put your husband down for the bottle stall at the autumn fair, or Christmas fete. He will meet a bunch of Dads then and might find out about Dad type activities attached to school.

Don't seem too desperate. All you need are people you can sink a beer with over a bbq every now and then, not BFF (I assume).

Enjoy the school gate, do not fear it. Invite invite invite(without seeming desperate of course! a fine line)

Starting school is quite an impressive time for the number of new people you meet and interests you pick up. It's not just the children!

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